Chapter Six

     Monday was an adventure in avoidance.  Work took up most of the day, although his boss, thinking to be sympathetic to the amount of time Joe had already spent away from home, insisted he leave at five no matter how much work was left to do.  Joe’s plans to hide out until after his boss left were thwarted when his boss insisted on walking out to the parking garage with him.  Unwilling to publicize his marital problems, Joe capitulated but instead of going home, he drove a short distance to a riverfront park and sat in his car for an hour before going to a hole-in-the-wall diner on the university campus to eat.  The meeting scheduled with Pastor Mark tomorrow had his nerves on edge, making the food settle like a rock in his stomach.  It was all he could do to keep what he had eaten down, and he laid his napkin on his half full plate.  Pulling out his wallet, he left enough cash for his dinner and a good tip before pushing away from the table. 

     He could not put off going home forever although he knew seeing Mari would only make him more agitated than he already was.  This past week at home had been torturous.  Just being around her and not touching her was having a decided affect on him.  His heart would pound, his mouth became dry and his fingers itched to touch her.  So to avoid seeing her he snuck around his own home as if he were an intruder, peeking around corners, dodging into the bathroom when he heard her coming up the stairs.  He would have just gone to a hotel but he could not make himself do it.  As perverse as it was, he needed to be near her, needed to feel at least her presence if not her person. 

     he finally arrived home it was almost ten thirty and the house was dark except for a light in the living room.  Obviously, Mari had given up on his coming home and gone to bed, which suited Joe just fine.  He readied for bed, but sleep eluded him.  Anxiety over his coming meeting with Pastor Nolan along with vivid images of his wife in the arms of another man had his mind working overtime.  When he did manage to doze off, nightmares plagued him.  He was standing at his mother’s grave, but it was not his mother in the coffin, it was Mari.  Her face was deathly white; her body large with child.  She laid there, arms crossed protectively over her abdomen.  His father came up next to him, looking old and worn, face creased with lines of bitterness.  “She got what she deserved,” he spat out the words, then backed away.  Joe turned to ask him what he meant but his father was gone.  When he turned back to the coffin, Mari was still there but now her arms held an infant, a boy child who looked exactly like Joe.  The boy opened his eyes, staring up at Joe.  “Daddy!” he cried, tiny arms reaching up as if to say, “Save me.”

     Joe shot up in bed, sweat pouring off him.  “Oh God!” he cried out in agony, voice raspy as if he had been screaming so long it had given out.  He covered his face with trembling hands, trying to catch his breath.  Heart pounding, he threw off the covers, rising to his feet.  Instinct made him reach for the door.  When he opened it, he caught a glimpse of Mari at the top of the stairs, heading down.  Still alive, he thought, closing the door quietly.  She was alive.  He retreated back into the room and sank down onto the bed, reaction setting in.  His body trembled, and he took several long, deep breaths to calm himself.  It was just a dream, he reminded himself, just a dream. 

     As the minutes passed and his mind and body calmed the realization that this situation was real hit him.  He was sleeping in the guest room, alone, Mari was still pregnant with another man’s baby, and in a couple of hours he was scheduled to meet with his Pastor to tell him that he believed his wife had had an affair.  Joe abruptly stood, the lingering affects of the dream giving way to burning anger.  “How could she,” he growled, beginning to pace.  He traversed the room several times before he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.  The image reflected there shocked him.  His face was pale and drawn, his body stiff.  Anger seemed to radiate off him in waves.  He took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax tense muscles.  He had to get a hold of himself.  If he did not, he was likely to act without thinking, which would only cause further emotional, and possibly physical, damage.

     The slamming of a door and the sounds of the garage door opening alerted him that Mari was out of the house and on her way to work.  He peeked out the window watching as her Escape pulled out of the drive.  He let the curtain fall back into place as he turned from the window.  The emotions he was experiencing were all too familiar to him, and that frightened the living daylights out of him.  They transported him right back to the upheaval of his childhood.  Picking up a towel off the floor, he flung open the door and walked down to the bathroom.  Maybe a cold shower would wake him from this nightmare.  Then again it just might make him cold, he thought as he stepped under the spray.

     His meeting with Mark Nolan was scheduled for ten o’clock.  Joe drove his Taurus into the parking lot of the church shortly before that and pulled into a visitor’s spot.  He sat there for several minutes, hands clenched tightly on the steering wheel.  Despite the air conditioning going full blast, nervous sweat was beginning to soak through his polo shirt.  The pounding of his heart kept time with the throbbing in his head.  He would give just about anything to avoid the coming meeting.  In fact, a firing squad would be more pleasurable.  Difficult conversations had never been his strong suit, and this one was going to be extremely difficult.  He felt awkward speaking with the man who had been his wife’s pastor since she was a little girl.  How would Pastor Mark take the news that Joe believed Mari had had an affair and was pregnant because of it?  Could he be objective in this case?  Joe shook his head, finally leaving his car and making his way into the church office.  He greeted Janice Fairfield, the church secretary, who directed him back to Mark’s office.

     Mark greeted the younger man at the door, waving him into the chair in front of his desk.  “What can I do for you, Joe?” he asked as he took his seat across from Joe.  He watched Joe covertly.  The younger man’s face was haggard and it appeared as if he had not slept in a while.  He seemed to be struggling with his thoughts.  Mark waited patiently for Joe to explain why he had come in for this appointment.

     Joe hesitated.  How to approach this?  “Mari and I are having some issues,” the words sounded so inane to his ears, but hid such a wealth of pain. Fingers curled into palms, emotions caused his fists to clench.  Just thinking about what his wife had done with another man made him want to pound something.  He took a deep breath, calming himself.  Pastor Mark was watching him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

     “What might those issues be?” Mark finally prompted when Joe remained silent.

     “I think she had an affair,” Joe blurted out the painful reality.  In desperation he grabbed the arms of the chair.  “She’s pregnant.”

     “And her being pregnant means she had an affair?”

     “What else could it mean?  I can’t have children.”

     Mark gazed at him steadily.  “You can’t have children,” he repeated.  “I know we touched briefly on this subject during the premarital counseling sessions, but that obviously was a while ago. Why don’t you elaborate on that statement?”

     And that was the crux of this particular issue.  He did not want to elaborate on it.  They only touched briefly on the matter during premarital counseling because Joe refused to do more than that.  It was a subject Joe was reluctant to speak about, not comfortable pouring out such intimate details of his life.  Even now, so many years later, it made his heart ache with loss and, yes, anger.  Loss, because he knew he would never have children and anger at God for allowing it happen to him. 

     Face flushed with embarrassment, Joe finally related the story about having the mumps when he was in high school.  He kept his voice cool and detached with a great deal of effort as he related the doctor’s words, telling him in no uncertain terms that he would not be able to father children.  When he was finished he slumped in his chair, mentally exhausted.

     “I see.”  Mark steepled his fingers in front of his chin.  “That does rather put a different spin on things,” the pastor commented.  “Were you and Mari having marital problems before this?”

     “No, at least not that I was aware of.”

     “What makes you think that after ten years she would have an affair so she could have a child?  If she wanted a child that badly wouldn’t she have wanted to do that when she was younger?”

     Joe was not really sure how to answer that, but it did not matter as Pastor Mark continued.

     “I’m not making light of your assumption, Joe,” he assured the younger man.  “But it just doesn’t make any sense.  Mari’s what, thirty-four?”  Joe nodded.  “I’ve known her for a long time and I know how much she loves children.  She struggled a lot with that particular issue when you two were dating. Being an only child, Mari always wanted a lot of kids.  But she appeared to put that desire behind her when she married you.  And she seemed okay with it.  Could something have changed in the past months that may have triggered something in her?”

     Joe could not tell where Pastor Mark was going with his logic.  It almost sounded like he believed Mari would have an affair.  “I was in Texas the last four months for work.  Because of the nature and amount of the work I wasn’t able to come home much.  I guess it’s possible she could have gotten lonely.”  He inwardly cringed at the lameness of his reasoning.  It was not like they had never spent any time apart from each other.  Over the last two years his work had prompted frequent trips out of town.  Not quite as lengthy as this last assignment, admittedly, but a couple of long stretches here and there.  Joe looked up to see Pastor Mark watching him carefully.

     “How far along is she?” Mark asked.

     Joe looked at him, his jaw clenching.  “I have no idea.”

     “Mari has been sick for quite awhile.  Do you remember when that flu started?”

     “I think it started a few weeks after I left.  When I came home over Memorial Day she wasn’t feeling great but it became worse shortly after.”

     “So, if we conclude that this flu was actually morning sickness, she’d probably have gotten pregnant sometime in April.  That was right about the time she and Greg started marathon sessions in the lab.  I know that because Mari and Greg were so overworked they were letting Jennifer analyze some of the data.  Despite all the hours she was spending in the lab Mari was in church almost every Sunday and Wednesday night although she missed a couple because she was sick or working.  Jennifer and I had her over for dinner a couple of times when she felt up to it.  Kayla Bradshaw took over dinner once or twice when she heard from some of the kids in the youth group that Mari had a bad case of the flu. 

     “Of course this doesn’t account for all her time, but if the morning sickness started around Memorial Day she would have had to have gotten pregnant almost as soon as you left for Texas which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  Unless she had a one night stand she would have already been involved with someone before you left, and that doesn’t seem likely.  You said yourself you and Mari weren’t having any marital problems.”

     Joe flushed remembering the months before he left for Texas.  Definitely no marital problems then.  His offices were downtown, not too far away from the Research Center, so he and Mari often had lunch together, occasionally with Greg and Marla.  When not at work, they had spent most of their time together, filling the days with church, friends, and work, and the nights with passion.  The trip to Texas had been an annoyance as far as Joe was concerned, an interruption of a blessed time of renewed romance with Mari.  She had pouted for almost a week when he told her he had to go, before apologizing about her behavior, admitting that she was going to miss their time together terribly.  He had promised he would try to get home most weekends and had made it the first two, but then Mari called and told him that the deadline for Greg’s grant renewal had been pushed up, making it much earlier than expected.  Based on previous experience, he knew how busy Mari would be, that she would have to work late most evenings and would be exhausted when she did get home.  When she called to tell him about the flu, he could hear the irritation in her husky voice, and he had smiled.  She hated being sick at the best of times, and this was definitely not the best of times for her to be ill.

    “I don’t believe in miracles, Pastor.”  Joe’s words were flat, face devoid of expression.

     Seeing the set look on Joe’s face, Mark could certainly see that.  “Yeah, I guess you don’t.  But even if we don’t believe in something, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or can’t happen.”  Mark watched as the anger built inside Joe and held up his hand to forestall an outburst.  “I’m not trying to belittle your feelings Joe.  I couldn’t tell you how I would react in your situation.  Probably not well, even if I am a pastor.  But to deny God granted the two of you a miracle?  I don’t think I could do that either.”

     “I need help, Pastor Mark,” the words came out in desperation.

     “I know, Joe.  I know.  But to give you the help you need, I’m going to have to know more about why you don’t believe in miracles.  I need to know why all this anger has suddenly come to the surface after ten years of what appeared to be a blissful marriage to a girl I’ve known since she was a toddler.  Did she truly give herself to another man or are you just blinded by your own fear and anger?”

     Joe slumped in the chair.  He had known this meeting would be difficult, he just had not realized how difficult.  He had kept his past carefully hidden from everyone except a very select few.  Even Mari, who he considered his closest confidant, had no idea what his childhood had been like.  During their pre-marital counseling Joe had glossed over his family and his past and focused on his life after coming to know Christ.  Now Pastor Mark expected him to lay those hidden torments out in the open for anyone to see.  Joe would have to come face to face with his past and he just did not know if he was capable.  Averting his eyes from the watchful gaze of his pastor, he remained silent.

     Sighing inwardly, Pastor Nolan waited.  Although he knew he was not supposed to have favorites, Mark had a soft spot for Joe and Mari.  He had known Mari since she was two, and had watched her grow from a rambunctious child to a bubbly adolescent and finally into a beautiful Christian woman with a true heart for the Lord.  Even the sudden death of both parents at the age of eighteen had not broken her spirit.  When she had first introduced Mark and his wife, Jennifer, to Joseph Conley, a “friend” from college, he had known that the two of them would marry.  He had been honored to be the officiating pastor at their wedding and had watched their marriage grow and strengthen over the last ten years.  Could Mari truly have strayed?  He did not want think so, but he knew no one was beyond the reach of temptation and he knew from personal experience the desire for a child was strong. 

     “I’d like to meet with both of you, Joe, if that’s possible,” he finally said when Joe remained mute.  “In situations like these it’s best to hear both sides of the story.”

     “I’m not sure I can do that, Pastor.”  Joe rose from his chair.  He walked over to the window and looked out at the parking lot beyond.  “It makes me absolutely crazy to think about it and seeing her, being anywhere around her, almost kills me.”

     “I can see how it would.  But do you want to leave this unresolved?  Your avoiding the situation is not going to make it go away.  It would be better to deal with it as soon as possible. A problem like this is a lot like an open wound.  If you ignore it, it festers and sometimes it becomes impossible to heal.”

     “Would it be possible to meet with you alone a few more times before we ask Mari to join us?  I think I have a few things to work on that I would rather not share with her just yet.”

     Mark pushed himself up from his chair behind the desk and walked over to the window to stand next to Joe.  He felt for this young man, for the agony he was obviously going through.  “All right, Joe.  We’ll start with that.  Before you go, I’d like to give you some homework.  When was the last time you read first Corinthians?”

     Joe shook his head.  “I’m not really sure.  Not for awhile.”

     “Read chapter thirteen.  In fact, try to memorize it.”

     Joe shifted uncomfortably.  He knew the chapter.  The love chapter.  Those verses had been read at his marriage to Marilee.  He remembered saying them to Mari the night he proposed to her.  Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  It keeps no record of wrongs.  Had he meant what he said that evening so many years ago?  Could he in his humanness live out these verses when his flesh wanted to punish the woman he believed had betrayed him?

     He lifted troubled eyes up to Mark.  “I know the verses, Pastor.  I’m just not sure I believe in them anymore.”

     Mark rested his hand on Joe’s shoulder.  “Just memorize them for now, Joe.  Pay particular attention to verses four through eight. We’ll start working on the rest next time.”  He squeezed Joe’s shoulder slightly.  “My prayers will be with you through this Joe.  I don’t know if that makes you feel better or not.  But I will be praying for you.”

     Joe stood.  “I appreciate it, Pastor.”

     “Set up an appointment for next week with Janice, Joe.”  Mark said as he walked with Joe out of the office.  “And if you ever need me, I’m free any time.”

     “Thanks.”  He turned and shook Mark’s hand, stopped to speak with Janice, then walked out of the church.

     Mark watched him, a troubled expression on his face.  This was bad, very bad.  Joe’s anger was simmering just below the surface, barely controlled.  And he could only imagine what Mari was feeling.  Pregnant, he sighed heavily.  Joe and Mari would make wonderful parents, but the cost was going to be high, Mark thought.  Maybe too high.  Shaking his head, he strode back to his office.

An Unexpected Romance-Chapter 5-2

     An hour later Mari pulled into a short gravel drive, stopping in front of a small cedar shingled cottage.  It had a wonderful view of the lake beyond, and was surrounded by a variety of wild flowers lending a splash of color against the brown background of the house.  She sat behind the wheel for a moment staring into the distance, gathering her wits about her.  When she finally stepped out of the car, she was greeted by a large black lab, wagging tail setting the whole back of his body in motion.  “Hey, Smokey, what’s up?” she crooned, bending over to scratch behind the dog’s ears.  After he had his fill he dodged out from under her hand, running in circles around her, tongue lolling out of his mouth, barking joyfully.

     “Look what the cat, or dog as the case may be, dragged in,” came a warm, male voice from behind her.  Mari swirled and immediately launched herself into the man’s arms.

     Andrew McCarty wrapped the daughter of his best friend tightly in his arms, a frown marring his smooth brow.  He was a large man in his late sixties, with dark hair just touched with gray and a body as fit as a man nearly half his age.  On the outside he appeared to be the epitome of a retired business man intent on golf and fishing.  But that hid a sharp intelligence, quite helpful as he had made his living getting into the heads of his country’s enemies.  He glanced down at the slight woman in his arms, and admitted ruefully to himself that taking down enemy spies might be an easier occupation then trying to calm his weeping goddaughter.

     Mari was as close to a daughter as he was likely to get.  Although he had been married at one time, he and his wife had never been blessed with children.  Her death before the age of thirty caused a hole to form in his heart which had taken decades to heal.  Gordon and Susan had been an anchor for him at a time when his world was falling apart, and had gifted him with a friendship that had lasted through good and bad times.  When they were blessed with the birth of a daughter, he was the first person they had contacted, even before their own parents.  He had loved that squalling, red-faced infant like his own since he first laid eyes on her.  Sitting in the hospital room the day after her birth, holding her in his arms, he looked down at her and made a silent declaration that he would do all he could to protect her.  Gordon and Susan, knowing what was in his heart, had asked him to be their daughter’s godfather. 

     As her godfather Andrew had been an active part of her life whenever his job permitted.   It had been no hardship to promise Mari’s parents he would take care of her if something happened to them although he never imagined it would come to that.  When he received the call informing him of their death, Mari had been a freshman in college.  Andrew had been working in the Middle East, deep undercover, but his government contacts had made sure he knew of the accident mere hours after it happened.  He flew home immediately, leaving the investigation he was working in the hands of his partner, then drove to Mari’s college campus to break the news to her in person.  She stood in front of him, dry eyed, posture ramrod straight, as he explained what had happened.  They drove back to Michigan to plan the funeral after which Mari went back to school and he semi-retired from his career as a government agent to make sure he would always be available for her. 

     Over the ensuing years she often called him to tell him what was happening in her life, including the man she professed to love.  But she had never called on him in distress, needing his support.  It appeared that she needed him now.  He moved his hands to rest on her arms and set her away from him.  Warm brown eyes full of concern met tear-drenched hazel ones as he gazed down into her face.  “Whoa, there!  I know it’s been awhile since we saw each other, but you’ve never greeted me like that before.”

     Mari could not begin to stem the tears racing down her cheeks.  Even as she sobbed Andrew was pulling her back into his strong, comforting embrace.  He held her for a few more moments, resting his head on hers, letting the storm of tears run their course.  When the worst was over, he kept one arm wrapped around her shoulders, leading her into the small house.  He guided her to the couch, gently pushing her to sit down.  “Stay there.  I’ll be right back,” he commanded, leaving the room.

     Mari sat, hands gripped tightly together, trying to get a grip on her emotions.  Never in all these years had she so totally lost control in front of Uncle Andrew.  Not when she was a little girl and had fallen off her bike in front of him.  Not even when he had come to tell her that her parents had died in a car crash during her first year in college.   She took the news stoically, determined that she would be brave for her parents’ sake.  But she was thankful Uncle Andrew had been there to help her those first days.  He had driven her back to Michigan then stood with her at the funeral, holding her hand, lending her strength.  Mari had waited until after the funeral when she was alone in her room before she shed her tears.

     Andrew returned to the living room carrying a tray loaded with cheese and crackers along with some vegetables and dip and a tall bubbling glass of Diet Coke.  Mari lifted questioning hazel eyes to his and he replied, “I try to keep a few things on hand just in case.  Besides, my lady friends seem to like the same things,” mentioning a fact that was sure to focus her attention on something other than what was troubling her.

     “Lady friends?  Who?” Mari allowed herself to be distracted.

     “Just some friends I’ve come across the last few months.  For some reason they seem to think I’m a good catch.  But we’ll talk about them later,” Andrew said when he saw Mari had her tears under control.  He settled down on the chair across from her.  “Right now, spill.  What brings you out here, so far from home on a Sunday?”  Glancing at his watch, he gave Mari a look.  “Even with the way you drive you won’t make it back in time for church tonight.”

     “Yeah, I know.”  She hesitated for a moment, working out what to say.  She met his direct gaze and decided the blunt truth would be best.  “I’m pregnant,” Mari blurted.

     Andrew’s eyes opened wide in shock.  He was like a second father to her.  Mari had told him about Joe’s sterility shortly after Joe had told her.  Andrew had actually tried to talk her out of marrying Joe knowing how much Mari desired children.  His response was a long, drawn out, “Oh.”

     “Yes, oh.”  Mari picked up her glass of diet soda, taking a long drink to calm her fluttering emotions.  “I found out Monday.”

     “Is everything okay?”  At Mari’s look he clarified, “With the baby, I mean.”

     Mari sighed.  “Yes. Thankfully everything seems to be all right there.”  Putting the glass back on the tray, she leaned back on the couch, resting her head on the soft cushion.  “Everything with the baby is fine.  Everything with Joe is a mess.”  She turned her head to look at Andrew, waiting for him to comment.

     “I guess he didn’t take it very well.”

     “You could say that.  But it would be an understatement.”

     Andrew rose from his chair and came to sit next to her on the couch.  He took her small hand in his.  “What do you want me to do?” he asked.

     “I have no idea,” Mari answered sadly.  “Joe thinks I had an affair.”  His hand gripped hers a little tighter but he remained silent, waiting for her to explain.  “I tried to tell him that I didn’t, but he wouldn’t believe me.  He said since he couldn’t father a child, I must have had an affair.”  A fresh tear tracked its way down her cheek.  “I’ve prayed for a child for ten years, Uncle Andrew.  The answer had always been ‘no’ before.  I was finally at peace with that. Why now?  Joe is so angry, so hurt, and it makes me so mad that he just can’t believe God would grant us a miracle.”  She slipped her hand out of his and stood.  Mari began pacing the small room.  “Why can’t he just believe?  He makes me so mad.”

     “Well, Mari, your prayer wasn’t exactly some little request.  Not, I pray that God will let me have a good day, or God grant me a raise.  If you didn’t have an affair, then this is truly divine intervention and a lot harder to grasp.”

     “If I didn’t have an affair!” Mari rounded on him, hazel eyes fierce with indignation.  “If I didn’t have an affair!” she shouted, astounded that he could believe she had dome something so vile.  “You actually think I would have an affair just so I could have a baby?”  She stood stiffly in front of him, hands fisted at her sides.  She wanted to pummel him, she was so angry.

     Andrew’s lips twitched, remembering that same stance when she was three and he would not let her go out on the boat with him because at the time he thought she was too little.   Mari saw that smile and the scowl on her face deepened.  Andrew burst out laughing.  “Calm down, calm down.  I know you would never do that,” he soothed.   “And, deep down, I think Joe knows it, too.”  He took Mari’s hand and pulled her down next to him.  “But this is a hard thing, Marilee.  It’s not going to go away overnight.  In fact, it’s never going to go away.  This child will always be there between the two of you unless you guys can work this out.”

     “But how, Uncle Andrew?” Mari sighed in defeat.  “He won’t even talk to me.  He avoids me whenever possible.  I told him I was pregnant Monday night and since then I’ve seen him a total of maybe two hours and they were spent yelling at each other.”

     “That does pose a bit of a problem, doesn’t it?” he commented.  “You can’t push him to accept this, Mari.  You’re going to have to be patient.”  Mari heaved a big sigh at that.  Patience was not her strong suit.  Andrew grinned.  “Yeah, I know.  You’re a lot like your dad that way.”  He got up from the sofa and pulled her up after him.  “Let’s go out on the boat.  I want to do some fishing and you look like you could use some rest.  Grab one of your old suits from the spare room and I’ll meet you down at the dock.”

     A short time later, Andrew’s boat was skimming over the water out to the middle of the lake.  Mari lounged back in a deck chair, her body finally beginning to relax.  It was a beautiful day and the sun beating down on her felt so absolutely wonderful.  It warmed her tired body and her eyes drifted shut.  Within minutes she was sleeping.

     Andrew looked down at her from his position at the wheel.  This little girl, the child of his closest friend, the daughter Andrew had never had, was having a baby.  And by the looks of things she might be having it alone.  He knew a few things about Joe that he was sure Mari did not know, but it was not his place to share them.   He was not even sure Joe was totally aware of the amount of information Andrew had.  What was the use being a government agent if he could not pull a few strings to investigate his favorite girl’s soon-to-be husband?  Even knowing what he knew, Andrew had given Mari his blessing and kept most of his reservations to himself, believing the young man his Marilee had chosen would eventually become the strong Christian husband she needed. 

     He slowed and stopped the boat, dropping the anchor.  Picking up the novel he kept on board, and took a seat next to Mari.  He pulled a soda out of the cooler and settled down to read.  He might not be able to change things for her, but he could give her this time to rest.

     Time passed.  The shadows on the lake lengthened.  Andrew glanced over at Mari, who was still sleeping soundly.  He hated to do it, but he would have to wake her up shortly.  There may be problems at home, but Mari was never one to run from a difficult situation.  Strategically withdraw for a while, perhaps, but not run.  He could do little for her but offer her prayer, but he would make sure Mari knew he was there whenever she needed him.

     “Hey little girl,” he crooned softly, gently shaking her shoulder.

     Mari stirred when she felt the touch on her shoulder.  She stretched languidly before opening her eyes to see her Uncle Andrew watching her, a grin on his face.  “What are you grinning at?” the raspy tones of sleep still filled her voice.

     “You haven’t changed much since you were little.  Still wake up crabby.”

     “I am not crabby,” she laughed.  “I was having a perfectly wonderful dream and then I feel this earthquake…”

     “Oh, please,” Andrew snorted.  “Anyway, it’s time to go in.”

     Mari sobered.  “Okay.”  She sat up, drawing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.  Andrew rose and headed towards the wheel.  In no time they were docking outside Andrew’s cottage and Mari realized this time of rest had come to an end.  Working together they tied up the boat and walked up to the cottage, Smokey running around them.  In the house, Mari changed back to her street clothes then came out into the living room where Andrew was waiting.

     “Thanks for letting me come out, Uncle Andrew.”

     He grabbed Mari up in a tight hug.  “Any time, little girl.”  Mari smiled at the nick name Andrew had given her years ago.  “The Lord is with you, Mari.  Remember that.”

     “I will Uncle Andrew.”

     “And let me know what’s going on.  I’ll come knock some sense into the boy if I have to.”

     Mari was pretty sure he was kidding, but also knew Andrew would literally knock some sense into Joe if he thought it was necessary.  “I’ll keep in touch,” was her only comment before sliding into her car.

     The ride home was quiet.  Instead of turning on the radio she spent the time in prayer and thought.  Although Mari still had no definitive plans by the time she reached home she felt calmer than she had earlier.  The long nap on the lake helped, plus letting Uncle Andrew know eased some of the burden.  Because the circumstances of this pregnancy were so unbelievable she determined to let as few people know as possible.   As much as she wanted to shout from the rooftops about this miracle, Joe did not share the feeling and she was determined not to put any more pressure on him than there already was.

     When Mari pulled into the drive, she noticed the light on in the guest room and was relieved that Joe was home.  She let herself in the house and after locking back up, headed up to bed.  Looking up she saw Joe standing at the top of the stairs.  His face was in shadow hiding his expression, but if his body language could be believed, he was not very happy.

     What now? Mari groaned inwardly as she finished trudging up the stairs.  But Joe did not say anything as she approached him.  He moved slightly as she passed, so she would not touch him, and Mari sighed, irritated at his childishness.  When she reached the door to the master bedroom, Joe finally broke the silence.

“Where were you?” the question was growled out, accusation heavy in his voice.

     Without turning around Mari answered.  “If you must know, I went out to see Uncle Andrew.  I’m sure if you give him a call, he’ll vouch for my whereabouts.”  She entered the room and closed the door with a decided snap.

     Yeah, like he was going to call Mari’s Uncle Andrew.  It had been bad enough when he asked the man for Mari’s hand in marriage.  No way was he going to call him and accuse his goddaughter of having an affair.  Andrew would probably snap Joe in two and throw him in the lake to feed the fish.  Although in the last ten years Joe and Andrew had had a very congenial relationship, Joe was in no doubt where Andrew’s loyalty lay.  Unless there was definitive proof of Mari’s infidelity, Andrew would give Mari the benefit of the doubt.  And since Mari insisted her pregnancy was a result of marital relations with Joe, there really was no definitive proof until the baby was born.  Joe just was not sure he could wait that long to be proven right.  It was already killing him to see Mari, imaging her lying with some other man, then growing large with child.  What he was going to do when she really started showing Joe had no idea.

     Joe went downstairs and entered the kitchen.  He sat at the table, resting his chin in his hands.   He wished he could blank his mind, or better yet go back in time to before he left for Houston.  If he had known what was going to happen while he was away, he would not have gone.  But changing the past was impossible.  As his grandma always used to say “what was done was done”.  It might be done, but the repercussions were going to be like a tidal wave.  Joe just hoped he would have the stamina to keep his head above water.

Pushing himself up from the table, he grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and went back upstairs to his self-imposed prison.

An Unexpected Romance Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Mari walked down the side aisle and slid into a pew toward the back of the sanctuary.  She had slept through the morning Adult Bible Fellowship hour and thought seriously about not attending the service.  But she needed this time of worship, to be in the gathering of fellow believers if just to feel the presence of God around her.  True, Christ lived in her, so she was never without Him, but to be surrounded by others who believed the same as her gave her comfort.  Even though they had no idea of the struggle she was facing, worshiping in the presence of God and his followers helped lift her spirits as nothing else could. 

Slouching in her seat and resting her head on the back of the pew, she closed her eyes and allowed the sounds of the prelude to wash over her, calming her spirit.  The avalanche of emotions, coupled with the morning sickness which had attacked with a vengeance this morning, added another layer to the problem of her pregnancy.  Those emotions had reached an apex after her fight with Joe Friday afternoon.  Mari had gone home afterwards and cried until there had been no tears left.  She was exhausted and frustrated and sad and angry and filled with so many other emotions it left her dizzy and nauseous. 

As she thought back to Friday evening, Mari had been surprised when she had heard the garage door opening shortly after six Friday evening.  Considering the way they had parted company earlier in the day, Mari figured Joe would not bother coming home at all.  She was relieved he had come home.  Maybe now they would be able to talk calmly.  Sitting at the kitchen table, a bowl of cereal in front of her, she watched with trepidation as he entered from the garage.  What should she say? Mari wondered.  Would he listen?  She had opened her mouth to apologize for her behavior at his office but Joe had walked past without sparing a look in her direction.  Instead, he had gone immediately up to his newly appointed room without so much as a nod of recognition.  There were sounds of him moving around for a short time then the muffled sounds of the small television they had put there for their guests.  Joe had not come out of the room Friday evening except for a brief trip to the bathroom leaving Mari hurt and discouraged as she finished her dinner then worked in the den.  Saturday morning he went to work early and, although he came home at a decent hour, he was still not acknowledging her presence.  His actions were driving her crazy, adding fuel to her irritation.  Childish as it was, she stomped around the kitchen Saturday evening, purposefully slamming cupboard doors making sure her irritation was getting across to him.

              Now she sat here, in God’s house, filled with remorse.  Recent events aside, their marriage had been a joyous journey of discovery for both of them.  There had been very few bumps in the road, and the few they had encountered had been small compared to what was happening now.  Faced with their first significant trial, Mari felt as if everything she believed about their life together, everything she had worked for, was falling apart around her.  Blame shifting would be so easy.  Joe was being unreasonable and stubborn, refusing to believe her innocence, refusing to believe in God’s miracle.  But her conscious smote her.  Mari knew her actions were no better than Joe’s and were totally within her own control, whereas Joe’s thoughts and actions were not.  If she expected Joe to be reasonable, she was going to have to be even more so.

             When the prelude ended, Mari opened her eyes and stood with the congregation.  The first song rose in worship, and Mari added her voice to those around her.  One song melded into the next, faster this time, with more guitar and drum.  The words touched a chord in Mari.  She closed her eyes, spread her hands, and offered her praise to the Lord.  The song ended and the congregation was instructed to take their seats.      

             The announcements were being given when movement in her peripheral vision caught her attention and caused Mari to start.  Her husband, clad in a dark gray suit and deep red tie, slid into the pew next to her staring straight ahead.   He was very careful not to touch her.  Anyone looking at them would not see a problem.  But Mari was all too aware if the distance between them.  Even so, his presence set her heart beating erratically.  He was here, sitting next to her, setting her nerves on edge.  She rose and sat and sang at the appropriate times, although if someone had asked her what Pastor Nolan had said in his message, Mari could not have told them.  She was so anxious by the end of the service her nerves were stretched almost to the breaking point.  When she would have gotten up to join the throng of people making their way out of the Worship Center and into the Gathering Space, Joe laid a hand on her arm.

               “Wait a minute, please” he murmured, immediately taking his hand away.

                Not certain of what he wanted, but hoping for the best, Mari stilled in her seat.  After a week of minimal communication, she was more than willing to finally discuss the problem despite the location.  As people flowed around them, speaking in small groups, greeting each other, Mari and Joe remained quiet.  A few acquaintances stopped to greet them on their way out, but Joe did barely more than nod at them, not encouraging anyone to stay and chat.  Greg and Marla caught her eye as they descended the steps into the aisle, but she unobtrusively shook her head silently telling them not to come over.  She wanted to find out what Joe wanted and was afraid if they came over Joe would feel cornered.  When most of the people had moved out of the area, Joe turned his body slightly towards her but avoided direct eye contact.

               “I know the way I’m acting is wrong, Mari,” he acknowledged quietly.  “I know that.  But I don’t know if I can accept this.”  His hands gestured widely.  “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to accept what is happening and see it through.”

              The words pinched at her heart.  “What do you want to do?”

             “I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t say anything about the baby until it’s obvious.  I know that won’t be long,” he commented as his eyes roamed over her body, already seeing the changes despite the skirt and loose top she wore, “but I need the time to come up with some sort of plan.”

              “A plan?” she hissed in disbelief, her effort to remain calm and in control flying out the window.  “Like what?  Do you want me to slink off like some Victorian miss, take a long vacation, disappear until after the baby is born?”  Mari’s voice rose with each word, and she fought to keep her escalating anger in check.  Hormones had been playing havoc the last few days, and control was iffy at best.

               Joe turned fully towards her, body stiff, his face a mask of irritation.  “I’m trying Mari!”  His voice was low but intense.  “The least you could do is cut me some slack.  The last thing I want is to start tongues wagging so I’m willing to work on finding a solution to this problem.  I have an appointment with Pastor Nolan on Tuesday.  I’d rather not argue about this until after I talk to him.”

               Mari was silent for a moment.  She almost snapped back I’d rather not argue about it at all, since there’s nothing to argue about, but held her tongue with difficulty.  Joe considered this pregnancy a problem not a blessing, which hurt on so many levels.  Taking a deep breath, she prayed for control.  When she felt she could speak without screaming she spoke.  “Fine,” she bit out.  “I’ll do my best.”  She stood abruptly and walked towards the exit, needing to put as much distance between them as possible, but Joe had other ideas.  He caught up with her and guided her out the back of the sanctuary, his hand barely touching the small of her back.  There were still quite a few people milling around the common area but Joe’s hand was insistent, angling her towards the exit.  Although Mari would have preferred to stay in the crowd of people, she went with Joe without argument.

               They walked through the steaming parking lot in silence.  When they came to her car, Joe reached out, unlocked the door and opened it.  “I have some work to do at the office.  I’ll try to make it back to church tonight, but don’t wait for me.”

               Mari sighed loudly in frustration.  Here we go again, she thought.  She climbed into the hot car and looked up at Joe.  “I would appreciate it if you would try not to avoid me for the next four and a half months, Joe,” she snapped, her temper finally getting the better of her good intentions.  Boy, what she wouldn’t do for a nap.

              Joe shut the door without comment and walked away.  Mari leaned her head back, closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.  At this rate Joe would not have to avoid her.  She was doing a fine job of pushing him away.  Sitting up, she started the car, throwing the air conditioning on high, and drove through the parking lot.  Instead of taking a right and going home, she turned left and headed towards the one person on whom she felt comfortable dumping all her problems.

Chapter 4-2

“I have no idea what to think.”  Joe admitted to his good friend, Glen Price, after explaining the reason behind this mid day visit.  The two had known each other since high school and had gone through some difficult times together.  Joe knew Glen would keep today’s conversation confidential.  There was no way he wanted this getting out before he could either come to grips with the situation or figure out a way to walk away from it.  “We’ve been married ten years.  I always thought we were happy.”

            Glen Price contemplated his best friend, heart full of compassion.  When Joe called to ask if he could come by and talk over a problem he had, Mari having had an affair and being pregnant would not have even made the list of potential topics.  Knowing Joe’s family history, and also the medical history behind his sterility, Glen was nearly as shocked as Joe.  If what he was hearing was true, Mari’s pregnancy could be a major blow to Joe’s marriage. 

But something did just not ring true.  He was not able to reconcile the image of the woman he knew to that of an unfaithful spouse.  Mari loved her husband, Glen was sure of it.  From the moment he met her back in college, Glen knew that Mari and Joe were going to be together.  Even back then she was always watching Joe, eyes lighting up when he walked into the room, smile blossoming when Joe caught her looking at him.  There was a time their happiness had bothered Glen a great deal.  Why was Joe so blessed?  Hadn’t Glen worked hard at being a great guy, the one who opened doors and always had a kind word to say?  Why was it that he couldn’t seem to find that one special woman to spend his life with?  But that had changed when Gretchen Kampbell entered his life.  Now Glen knew why Joe had that goofy look on his face every time he looked at his wife.  Only now those blue eyes were filled with doubt, with a hefty dose of anger thrown in.

            Glen regarded Joe through narrowed eyes.  Because of his unstable family life trust had always been difficult for Joe.  Now, the trust Joe had placed in his wife seemed to have been violated and Glen needed to gauge how best to approach the subject without Joe becoming angry and defensive.  “What makes you think the baby can’t be yours?” Glen asked.

            Joe shot up from his chair and began stalking around the room.  “You know I’m sterile, Glen.  I have been since high school.”

            “According to the doctors, you are considered sterile, yes.  I can’t really argue about the science.  But Joe, what about God?”  Glen leaned back in his chair and watched as his friend paced.  “Do you remember how we talked after you were sick with the mumps?  I told you to trust that God knew what was best for you.  Then after you met Mari, we talked about how much you wanted to have kids with her but couldn’t.  I know how much you’ve always desired a child of your own.  And if I know it, don’t you think He knows it too?”  The words hung in silence for a moment before Glen continued.  “Trust is a big thing, Joe.  Do you trust Mari enough to believe her?  Do you trust God enough to believe that He has plan for you?”

            Joe came to a stop in front of Glen’s desk.  “I thought I knew what God’s plan was, Glen.  No kids.  I thought He made it pretty clear when I got the mumps in high school, a disease which I had been vaccinated for and should not have gotten.  A disease which only rarely results in sterility, but in my case did.”  He slammed his fist on the desk and his eyes hardened.  “How could she have done this?  What are people going to say when they find out?”

            “Would you calm down?” Glen demanded.  He rose to his feet, planting his fists on the desk and leaning over, invading Joe’s space and staring him straight in the eyes.  “Is this how you acted when Mari told you?  Did you blow up?  Have you actually sat down with her to discuss everything?  Do you know how she feels or are you more worried about what people will think than you are about your wife?” 

A flush of guilt stained Joe’s cheeks.  The answers were obvious.  As much as he wanted to be able to say that he had kept his cool as they calmly discussed the pregnancy it would be a lie.  Today was the first day he had actually seen Mari since Tuesday afternoon.  Tuesday’s discussion had not turned out so well and today’s confrontation was even worse.  He was barely able to maintain his rage at the images running through his head.  Just thinking about it was causing flashbacks to his childhood.  There was so much painful history to work through.

Although Glen was sympathetic to Joe’s plight he knew it was imperative to get through to him before Joe lost control altogether.  Glen thought back to those days back in high school when Joe was an angry young man who physically expressed that anger by beating the tar out of a punching bag in the school gym.  “You need help Joe, and not just blowing off steam with me.  If you lose control with Mari, it won’t be a punching bag that takes the brunt of it.  It’s easier to work on the problem before it gets out of hand.  And if you do lose control, there will be a definite price to pay.” 

Glen’s thinly veiled threat was clear.  He was more than Joe’s friend.  Over the last twelve years he had become Mari’s friend.  Glen knew Joe and what he was capable of, and would do his best to protect both Mari and Joe.

The realization that he might actually act on his anger made Joe burn with shame.  Even at his angriest as a teenager, Joe had never physically hurt another human, directing all his pent up rage towards punching bags not people.  That this situation was pushing him towards violence, and violence towards his wife, frightened him beyond measure. 

He averted his gaze, sinking back into the chair across from Glen.  He took a deep, calming breath then dropped his head in his hands.  “I can’t believe this is happening to me,” he moaned.  “I feel like a volcano, lava simmering just below the surface waiting to explode at any time.”  He raised his head and looked up at Glen.  “I don’t want to hurt her, Glen.  I really don’t.  I’ve avoided her this whole week just for that reason.  I go to work early, before she’s up.  I come home after I’m sure she’s in bed.  I want to say I would never lay a hand on her, but Glen, right now I just don’t know.  I think of another man touching her and its all I can do to not punch something.  I have never felt such violence.”

“Get help, Joe,” Glen ordered, coming over to rest a hand on his friend’s shoulder.  “If I had to guess, I would say Mari’s being pregnant is not the only problem here.”  When Joe opened his mouth to protest, Glen held up his hand to stop him.  “I’m not saying Mari’s pregnancy is not a problem.  I honestly don’t know how I would react if this were happening to me.  But if you love her as much as you say you do, and I believe you do, then there is more feeding this anger than just her pregnancy.  Go see Pastor Nolan.  Meet with him alone, meet with him with Mari.  Get this taken care of as soon as you can, Joe, before it totally eats you alive.”

Joe rose and the men embraced.  Glen was the closest thing to a brother Joe had ever had.  He knew about Joe’s parent’s divorce, although Joe had never shared with him the details behind the break up.  Glen had put up with Joe’s moods during high school and college, had never given up on Joe even when others had.  Most importantly, he had given Joe a new lease on life when he had introduced him to Christ and His saving grace. 

The advice Glen gave him was sound, even if he did not realize the whole story behind Joe’s anger.  “Give me the phone.  I’ll make the appointment now.”