Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Chapter 4-2

“I have no idea what to think.”  Joe admitted to his good friend, Glen Price, after explaining the reason behind this mid day visit.  The two had known each other since high school and had gone through some difficult times together.  Joe knew Glen would keep today’s conversation confidential.  There was no way he wanted this getting out before he could either come to grips with the situation or figure out a way to walk away from it.  “We’ve been married ten years.  I always thought we were happy.”
            Glen Price contemplated his best friend, heart full of compassion.  When Joe called to ask if he could come by and talk over a problem he had, Mari having had an affair and being pregnant would not have even made the list of potential topics.  Knowing Joe’s family history, and also the medical history behind his sterility, Glen was nearly as shocked as Joe.  If what he was hearing was true, Mari’s pregnancy could be a major blow to Joe’s marriage. 
But something did just not ring true.  He was not able to reconcile the image of the woman he knew to that of an unfaithful spouse.  Mari loved her husband, Glen was sure of it.  From the moment he met her back in college, Glen knew that Mari and Joe were going to be together.  Even back then she was always watching Joe, eyes lighting up when he walked into the room, smile blossoming when Joe caught her looking at him.  There was a time their happiness had bothered Glen a great deal.  Why was Joe so blessed?  Hadn’t Glen worked hard at being a great guy, the one who opened doors and always had a kind word to say?  Why was it that he couldn’t seem to find that one special woman to spend his life with?  But that had changed when Gretchen Kampbell entered his life.  Now Glen knew why Joe had that goofy look on his face every time he looked at his wife.  Only now those blue eyes were filled with doubt, with a hefty dose of anger thrown in.
            Glen regarded Joe through narrowed eyes.  Because of his unstable family life trust had always been difficult for Joe.  Now, the trust Joe had placed in his wife seemed to have been violated and Glen needed to gauge how best to approach the subject without Joe becoming angry and defensive.  “What makes you think the baby can’t be yours?” Glen asked.
            Joe shot up from his chair and began stalking around the room.  “You know I’m sterile, Glen.  I have been since high school.”
            “According to the doctors, you are considered sterile, yes.  I can’t really argue about the science.  But Joe, what about God?”  Glen leaned back in his chair and watched as his friend paced.  “Do you remember how we talked after you were sick with the mumps?  I told you to trust that God knew what was best for you.  Then after you met Mari, we talked about how much you wanted to have kids with her but couldn’t.  I know how much you’ve always desired a child of your own.  And if I know it, don’t you think He knows it too?”  The words hung in silence for a moment before Glen continued.  “Trust is a big thing, Joe.  Do you trust Mari enough to believe her?  Do you trust God enough to believe that He has plan for you?”
            Joe came to a stop in front of Glen’s desk.  “I thought I knew what God’s plan was, Glen.  No kids.  I thought He made it pretty clear when I got the mumps in high school, a disease which I had been vaccinated for and should not have gotten.  A disease which only rarely results in sterility, but in my case did.”  He slammed his fist on the desk and his eyes hardened.  “How could she have done this?  What are people going to say when they find out?”
            “Would you calm down?” Glen demanded.  He rose to his feet, planting his fists on the desk and leaning over, invading Joe’s space and staring him straight in the eyes.  “Is this how you acted when Mari told you?  Did you blow up?  Have you actually sat down with her to discuss everything?  Do you know how she feels or are you more worried about what people will think than you are about your wife?” 
A flush of guilt stained Joe’s cheeks.  The answers were obvious.  As much as he wanted to be able to say that he had kept his cool as they calmly discussed the pregnancy it would be a lie.  Today was the first day he had actually seen Mari since Tuesday afternoon.  Tuesday’s discussion had not turned out so well and today’s confrontation was even worse.  He was barely able to maintain his rage at the images running through his head.  Just thinking about it was causing flashbacks to his childhood.  There was so much painful history to work through.
Although Glen was sympathetic to Joe’s plight he knew it was imperative to get through to him before Joe lost control altogether.  Glen thought back to those days back in high school when Joe was an angry young man who physically expressed that anger by beating the tar out of a punching bag in the school gym.  “You need help Joe, and not just blowing off steam with me.  If you lose control with Mari, it won’t be a punching bag that takes the brunt of it.  It’s easier to work on the problem before it gets out of hand.  And if you do lose control, there will be a definite price to pay.” 
Glen’s thinly veiled threat was clear.  He was more than Joe’s friend.  Over the last twelve years he had become Mari’s friend.  Glen knew Joe and what he was capable of, and would do his best to protect both Mari and Joe.
The realization that he might actually act on his anger made Joe burn with shame.  Even at his angriest as a teenager, Joe had never physically hurt another human, directing all his pent up rage towards punching bags not people.  That this situation was pushing him towards violence, and violence towards his wife, frightened him beyond measure. 
He averted his gaze, sinking back into the chair across from Glen.  He took a deep, calming breath then dropped his head in his hands.  “I can’t believe this is happening to me,” he moaned.  “I feel like a volcano, lava simmering just below the surface waiting to explode at any time.”  He raised his head and looked up at Glen.  “I don’t want to hurt her, Glen.  I really don’t.  I’ve avoided her this whole week just for that reason.  I go to work early, before she’s up.  I come home after I’m sure she’s in bed.  I want to say I would never lay a hand on her, but Glen, right now I just don’t know.  I think of another man touching her and its all I can do to not punch something.  I have never felt such violence.”
“Get help, Joe,” Glen ordered, coming over to rest a hand on his friend’s shoulder.  “If I had to guess, I would say Mari’s being pregnant is not the only problem here.”  When Joe opened his mouth to protest, Glen held up his hand to stop him.  “I’m not saying Mari’s pregnancy is not a problem.  I honestly don’t know how I would react if this were happening to me.  But if you love her as much as you say you do, and I believe you do, then there is more feeding this anger than just her pregnancy.  Go see Pastor Nolan.  Meet with him alone, meet with him with Mari.  Get this taken care of as soon as you can, Joe, before it totally eats you alive.”
Joe rose and the men embraced.  Glen was the closest thing to a brother Joe had ever had.  He knew about Joe’s parent’s divorce, although Joe had never shared with him the details behind the break up.  Glen had put up with Joe’s moods during high school and college, had never given up on Joe even when others had.  Most importantly, he had given Joe a new lease on life when he had introduced him to Christ and His saving grace. 
The advice Glen gave him was sound, even if he did not realize the whole story behind Joe’s anger.  “Give me the phone.  I’ll make the appointment now.”

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