Chapter Nineteen
Gretchen and Marla appeared on Mari’s doorstep bright and early the following morning, ready to shop.
“Paint first,” Marla declared as they got into her minivan. “We decide on a color, call the guys, and they go pick it up. Then we can get all the fun things for the room.”
“Do you have a crib yet, Mari?” Gretchen asked, turning to face Mari who was seated in the back.
“Not yet. I suppose I should get that pretty soon. I’m not expecting to be early, but you never know.”
Marla stopped at a red light. Looking in the rearview mirror, she eyed Mari speculatively. “I haven’t seen anything that indicates you’ll be early, but you’re right. You never know.”
“I have an idea of what I want. I saw something at Target, actually.”
“Okay. We’ll go pick out the paint, then run over there and pick up the crib. The guys will be at your house later painting so they can carry the crib in the house when we get home.”
Gretchen rubbed her stomach. “I’m hungry,” she announced. “Junior needs to eat.”
“And what exactly does Junior want?” Marla questioned, a smile on her face.
“Junior wants a double bacon cheeseburger with lots of pickles.” Gretchen grinned. “But mom would settle for a toasted cinnamon bagel with cream cheese from Panera Bread.”
The three women made a quick food stop, then continued on to the paint store. There were so many colors to choose from, Mari had a difficult time selecting a shade, but finally decided on bright yellow walls with other bright primary colors for the trim and other accents.
After the paint store they stopped at Target. Mari headed to the children’s section where she had seen the crib earlier that week.
“We usually don’t even carry the cribs here,” an associate told her, as Mari peered into the display. “The manager’s wife ordered this one online, then changed her mind. We normally would have just returned it to the warehouse Larry thought it would be easier to just sell here so he set it up hoping someone would buy it quickly.”
“And here I am,” Mari said. “What do you guys think?” she asked, turning to her friends.
Marla and Gretchen walked around the crib. It was white, and rather plain looking, but very elegant. “I like it,” Marla announced and Gretchen nodded.
The associate and another worker dismantled the display as Mari, Marla and Gretchen wandered the rest of the store. Mari added a couple of baby items to the cart, then the women headed to the front of the store to pay. In short order, the crib was loaded into the minivan and the women climbed in.
“I saw a really cute crib set at Penny’s that would go well with the colors I chose,” Mari said as they were driving out of the Target parking lot.
“Do you want to stop and pick it up?” Marla asked. “The mall’s right here.”
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
“Hey, while we’re here, can we go to the maternity store?” Gretchen asked. “I need some clothes.”
“More? You have a whole closet full.” Marla said. “And you just announced you were pregnant less than a week ago.”
“I know. Glen was so excited when I told him I was pregnant. After the last miscarriage I got rid of all my clothes. This time the pregnancy felt different and I was so sure I would carry the baby to term that he insisted I go out and buy as much as I wanted. But Glen’s taking me to see A Christmas Carol next week, and I want something spectacular to wear.”
“I could use something, too,” Mari piped up. “Greg keeps commenting that ‘he’s seen that outfit before’. Plus, I’m pretty close to outgrowing just about everything I have.”
“Now that you mention it,” Marla grinned.
“Are you commenting about my girth?” Mari demanded.
“Now that you mention it,” Marla repeated.
Mari reached over the seat and smacked her in the back of the head. “My doctor told me I was looking great.”
“And you are. You’re just large!”
“Is that bad,” Mari worried suddenly.
“Not a bit. The fact that you’re small to begin with just makes you look bigger. Now Gretchen here…”
“Hey, leave me out of this.”
Marla laughed. “Just teasing.” She pulled up to the valet parking. “Three pregnant women should not be walking through this parking lot with all the insane drivers out the day after Thanksgiving,” she declared as she handed the keys to the attendant. The three of them walked into the mall giggling. People turned to look and watch as they walked through the food court laughing.
Two hours later, laden with an assortment of shopping bags, they were ready to head back to Mari’s house and put things away. They joked about all they had purchased most of the way home. When they pulled into the drive, Glen and Greg pulled in behind them.
“What have you been doing?” Glen exclaimed, leaning over the side of the car to see the bags piled in the back of the minivan.
“I needed a few things, honey,” Gretchen grinned at her husband.
He eyed the bags speculatively. “How much of this is going home with us?” he wondered.
“Oh, not too much,” Gretchen assured him as she pulled bag after bag out of Marla’s vehicle. Glen groaned but did not comment again as he transferred the bags to his car.
“Now,” Marla directed, when everything else was dealt with. “We bought a crib, which needs to be taken upstairs.”
Greg and Glen unloaded the crib and Mari’s purchases and took them up to the room Mari had chosen for the nursery. “We did the preliminary work this morning and were able to get one coat on, so we’ll finish painting. You guys go downstairs and relax for a while and we’ll call you when we’re done,” Glen shooed them out of the room.
A few hours later Greg called them up. Mari gasped with pleasure when she saw the room. The walls were bright yellow, with the bright blue trim around the door and bright green around the closet. The window frames were done in red. On each of the frames Glen had used yellow paint to write Bible verses. He also used blue, green and red to paint an interesting geometric pattern on one of the walls. Greg had put the crib together and it sat against the far wall. The changing table that Glen and Gretchen had purchased earlier was against the other wall. The men had added a couple of shelves to the wall which were also painted in bold colors.
“This is wonderful,” she cried, a huge smile on her face. “I never knew you two were this creative.”
“One of my hidden talents,” Glen boasted.
“But what if it’s a girl?” she asked, referring to the baseball glove and football sitting on one of the shelves.
“Not a problem. You play, don’t you?” Greg questioned.
“Yeah. Well, I did, anyway.”
Gretchen popped her head in, looking over Mari’s shoulder. “Wow! I can’t wait to get started on our baby’s room.” She said, eyeing Glen.
“Well, it’ll have to wait a little bit. We have other things that have to get finished first,” Glen commented, referring to their kitchen which had been in one state of construction or another for the last three months.
The men brought in the bags of baby items from the impromptu baby shower plus Mari’s purchases from that day and stashed them in the closet for Mari to take care of another time.
“I can’t thank you guys enough,” Mari said as they were getting ready to leave. “The room looks great.”
“Yeah, we know we’re good,” Gretchen laughed. “Now take me home, James, I need to put my feet up.” Glen ushered her out the door, with Greg and Marla following, laughing.
“I can relate to that,” Marla sympathized, as Greg helped her into the car. “If they feel like this after just a couple months, how are they going to feel when I’m eight months?”
“A lot worse,” Mari laughed. She waved to her friends as they drove away. Going back into the house, Mari climbed the stairs to look into her baby’s nursery. Greg and Glen had really done an outstanding job. Everything was ready, waiting for her to sort through the baby items and put them away. She went back to her own room and grabbed an item from the top of her dresser then went back to the baby’s room. She set the small stuffed bunny in the crib, its ears flopping over.
“This is a gift from your daddy,” she whispered. “He’s not here right now, but he will be some day.” She rubbed her hand over her stomach and the baby kicked. “He’s afraid of you, I think,” she told the moving bulge. “He just needs some time, baby, then he’ll be home.” A tear dripped down her cheek to land with a plop on to her bulging stomach. “At least I hope he will.” Forcing the rest of the tears from her eyes, Mari turned and moved out of the room.
So much had been accomplished on Friday that Mari told her friends not to bother coming back when Marla called on Saturday morning to find out what time Mari wanted her and Gretchen there. Marla made a token protest, but Mari remembered how tired she had been at that stage of her pregnancy and told her in no uncertain terms to just stay home.
“What are you planning on doing?” Marla asked.
“I’m going to decorate for Christmas today, I think. I have some extra energy from somewhere and it seems a shame to waste it.”
Marla agreed that she should do what she could while she still had the ambition to do it. “What about the Christmas tree?”
“I’m having one delivered. I feel so decadent! But there was no way I was going to drag a Christmas tree in the house when I can barely drag myself around. And I really didn’t want to bother Greg or Glen again. They worked so hard yesterday. The nursery said they would be here in about an hour.”
“Well, have fun,” Marla told her. “Don’t work too hard and take a lot of rest breaks.”
“Yes, doctor,” Mari laughed.
“Don’t you forget that, missy. I spent a lot of time and money on that degree.” Marla said goodbye then hung up.
Mari spent the time before the delivery truck came bringing up the Christmas decorations from the basement. When the men came with the tree they took one look at her swollen belly and happily agreed to put it up in the great room for her. They also volunteered to put up the greenery she had asked for, but she told them she would take care of that herself. After they put up the tree Mari tipped them generously and sent them on their way with a “Merry Christmas”.
Looking up at the huge tree in her great room, a smile spread across Mari’s face. She loved this time of year. Celebrating her Savior’s birth always gave her such a peaceful feeling. Mari was determined to go all out this year, her baby’s first Christmas in a way. The baby might not actually be here yet but Mari planned to have gifts wrapped for him or her just as she would have gifts wrapped for Joe despite his absence. She had already purchased ornaments for both of them and would hang them in a place of prominence on the tree.
With Christmas carols playing in the background, Mari spent the next few hours decorating the tree. She put on as many lights as she possibly could then hung the ornaments. Working her way around the tree, Mari carefully placed each ornament making sure it faced exactly how she wanted it. After that was finished, she draped icicles over the branches and then added candy canes.
When she was done Mari stepped back to admire her work. It was probably the best tree she had ever decorated. “For you Joe,” she whispered as she hung one last ornament, the one they had bought their first Christmas together. Giving it a loving touch, she moved over to the other side of the room, plopping down in a chair. She sat there for almost half an hour, just staring at the lights on the tree, before she began to work on the rest of the house. Mari stopped briefly to grab a sandwich then continued on. It took her most of the day before she was satisfied the way the house looked.
Standing in the foyer, Mari breathed in the smell of fresh pine. The house was almost perfect, she decided. Greenery hung from the mirror in the foyer and around the door frames leading to the living room and den. The table where she would normally drop all her junk now held a miniature Dickens village. Pine roping circled the ceiling in the living room and also in the great room. It draped around the mantel of the fireplace of the great room where two large stockings hung from snowflake stocking hangers at either end. A miniature version of their stockings hung at one side of the fireplace, next to Joe’s. On the mantel tall white candles stood in crystal holders surrounded by small wreaths decorated with pinecones and holly. Lights twinkled from within the needles of the pine on the mantel and also from that placed around the ceiling.
Mari turned off the room lights, leaving just the lights of the tree and greenery glowing. She fixed herself a cup of hot cocoa and sat on the floor in front of the couch, facing the Christmas tree. Carols still played softly in the background and Mari hummed along as she sipped the hot brew. The lights and soft sounds were soothing and soon her eyelids began to droop. She sat her cup on the side table and grabbed a pillow and throw off the couch. Lying down Mari curled on her side and fell into a deep sleep.
The dream came again. Mari was in the nursery sitting in a rocking chair, a baby in her arms. Joe was standing in the doorway. When Mari looked up Joe backed away from the door. Clouds came up and obscured him from view until he was no longer in her range of vision. Mari strained to see him through the mist but it was impossible to make him out. She rose with the baby in her arms and followed him but became lost in the swirling fog. Taking one arm away from the baby she blindly reached out, then felt the baby slip from her grasp. Crying, she made a desperate grab but was not able to hold on and lost the baby in the mist. Mari fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face, screaming for her child and her husband.
Waking with a jerk, Mari sat up straight her face covered in tears, gasping for breath. She had lost them both, Joe and the baby. Oh Lord, she cried in her heart, please don’t let that happen, please let me have both. She fought to steady her breathing and rubbed a hand over her belly. The baby was very active, probably due to the stress Mari was feeling.
Struggling to her feet Mari made her way into the kitchen and pulled a glass out of the dishwasher. She filled it with water and took a long sip in the hope the normality of the action would calm her nerves. Although she knew it was just a dream, it was so unsettling. She loved this baby. She loved her husband. Did she have to choose between the two? Well, there was no choice really, now that she thought about it. Joe was gone. The choice was no longer hers to make.
Saturday evening after Thanksgiving found Joe meandering down a street filled with jostling Christmas shoppers in an area of Houston
Coming to a stop Joe peered through the shop window in front of him. It was full of toys, prominent among them a toy train. As the train sped around the tracks a flash from his boyhood came back to him. He and his dad were lying on the living room floor, laughing, watching as a train much like the one in the window chugged along a set of metal tracks. It ran around the Christmas tree and under the coffee table before coming to a stop in front of a wide eyed four year old Joe. He remembered his dad turning over and smiling up at his wife, Joe’s mother, grabbing her wrist and pulling her down on top of him.
“Come join us, baby,” he had crooned making his mother laugh as he rolled her between him and Joe. The three of them had watched the train for a long time. The last thing Joe recalled was his mom and dad taking him to his room and tucking him into bed. A good memory, Joe thought. When had things gone bad?
Turning from the window he began to stroll aimlessly. Going over his childhood, Joe tried to pinpoint when his parents began to drift apart. He was pretty sure it did not happen suddenly. That Christmas when he was four had been great. The following spring his dad began spending more time at work, more time traveling. At first his mom appeared to accept this new schedule, but as Dennis spent more and more time away, Joyce began moping around the house, often crying at night when she thought Joe was sleeping. Joe remembered a lot of arguments when he was young, although he could not recall what they were about, just that they were very loud. As he focused his mind back snippets of arguments came back to him, one in particular. His father was yelling that they did not need another kid, his mother tearfully responding that if she could not have her husband then he should at least give her another child to love. That, Joe decided, appeared to be the beginning of the end.
Things changed after that particular argument. There were no more arguments, for one thing. For another, his mother also began spending more time away from home, leaving Joe home alone many times. This went on for probably two years before “it” happened. Joe’s dad came home from one of his extended business trips to celebrate Joe’s birthday. His mother cornered him just after the guests left. Joe had been in the kitchen grabbing a can of soda when he heard them. He moved over to the doorway and listened as his mother told his dad she was pregnant. Total silence followed that announcement. Joe’s dad pushed past her, heading to their room. He came out with a suitcase, left the house and never returned.
Joe stumbled to a stop. That was the end. Within two weeks his mother was in the hospital, having lost the baby she wanted so badly. Joe was left with the neighbor as his dad did not come back. When his mom came home, she was different. No more smiles for Joe. No more smiles period. She retreated into herself, shutting out Joe. Although she performed basic household chores, she rarely spoke. She took her meals in front of the television, leaving Joe to eat alone. As the years went by, she drifted farther and farther away into her own world, until Joe was so frustrated and angry he began to place the blame for the breakup of their family on her. Why was he not good enough for his mother?
Somehow Joe did not think he would ever get the answer to that question since his mother was dead and his dad was so bitter he refused to speak about his ex-wife in any reasonable manner. His mind went back to his talks with Pastor Mark. Could he actually forgive his mother without knowing the why of what she did? He supposed he could press his dad for the real truth since Joe was under no compunctions by this time that his dad was faultless. But Joe had no desire to talk to the man. He had said some very nasty things about Marilee and the man did not even know her. Joe felt sorry for his dad’s wife if that was how he spoke about all women.
Joe made his way back to his rental car. On his way back to his apartment, he spent the time in thought but his mind was just too confused. What to do, what to do? He had no answers by the time he reached his apartment.
