An Unexpected Miracle-Chapter 4

Chapter Four

     When Joe failed to come home before Mari fell asleep Tuesday night, worry gnawed at the edges of her consciousness although she did her best to convince herself there was nothing unusual about the situation.  Joe was just working late and would be home soon.  The fact that she had dropped a bombshell on him and he was not home was just a coincidence. 

     When Mari dragged herself to bed at eleven Wednesday night he still had not made an appearance and worry slipped over the edge to just this side of panic.  She had no idea where he was, although if she had to guess she would bet that he was hiding out at his office.  In order to pass the daytime hours and keep her mind off what might have happened to Joe, Mari funneled what energy she had into working around the house.  Little chores that had been neglected because of work were taken care of; pulling weeds, cleaning out her closet, cleaning up in the backyard.  The distraction worked well, for the most part.  If she turned the volume up on her mp3 player loud enough, it was very effective in not allowing her to think. 

     The nausea that had plagued her for the past four months was less frequent now.  Food, and the thought of actually eating it, became more appealing, especially anything that had a slight kick to it.  Too much at one time brought the nausea back but she was able to eat small amounts all during the day, which helped increase her energy level.  Mornings were spent working around the house then, when she began to tire, she rested out by the pool, soaking up the warmth of the sun.  Her skin turned a golden brown and the dark circles around her eyes faded. 

     Both Wednesday and Thursday she waited expectantly for Joe to come home or call.  She kept her cell phone close hoping he would at least let her know that he was all right.  At night she ate her solitary dinner then worked on the computer in the den or watched television in the family room.  When she went up to bed, she turned on the television, staying up as long as she could, but inevitably fell asleep within the first half hour.  Her dreams were filled with agonized feelings of loneliness and fear that left her feeling anxious and exhausted when she woke. 

     The intensity of the worry finally reached flash point.  Mari could not stand it any longer and peeked into the guest room for clues to Joe’s activities.  Clothes were strewn across the bed and chair in typical Joe fashion; a dirty towel hung on the closet door knob.  Mari sighed with relief, although it was possible he had done all that damage the evening he left since she had not looked into this room since the morning after their last argument.  She closed the door and headed down to the kitchen.  The inside of the fridge did not look much different than it had earlier in the week, but then again she had not done any grocery shopping in awhile so the pickings were slim, anyway.  A check of the coffee supply showed that it was definitely lower than the last time she looked and since she rarely drank coffee, had actually not had any since before Joe came home, Joe was the only possibility. 

     Friday morning dawned with no visual sign of her husband other than the dirty clothes and dwindling coffee supply.  Quietly shutting the door of the guest room, Mari came to the conclusion that the only way she was going to be able to speak with him was to beard the lion in his den, so to speak.  Donning a pair of slacks, she grimaced when she was not able to get them buttoned.  Blowing her bangs in frustration, she left it and pulled on a loose shirt to cover the unbuttoned pants, then did her best to mask her restless night with makeup. 

     The drive downtown allowed her time to plan what she wanted to say to Joe when she confronted him in his office.  Mari pulled into a visitor parking spot, leaning back against the seat.  Bowing her head, she offered up a quick prayer before making her way up to the fifth floor, which housed the offices where Joe worked.   She walked into the reception area, waving to the receptionist on her way to Joe’s office.  Joe’s secretary gave her a curious look then motioned her through with a smile.

     “What are you doing here?” Joe demanded in a harsh whisper when he lifted his head and saw his wife standing in the doorway.  “I don’t want you here.”

     Mari stopped short just inside the office.  The words Joe spoke and the tone in which they were spoken shocked her into momentary immobility.  Her husband had never before used that tone of voice with her nor had he ever told her he did not want her around.  Fast on the heels of the shock came swift, gut-clenching anger.  She was Joe’s wife, not some annoying pest to be brushed off and she refused to be treated as such.  “Tough.  I wouldn’t have come here if you came home at a decent hour once in awhile.”  Looking back to see Joe’s secretary watching them, Mari stepped farther into the office and shut the door smartly.

     “There was no reason to do that,” Joe insisted, panic causing his voice to rise.  He did not want to be alone with or talk to his wife right now.

     “Oh, there is a reason all right.  I would rather not have the whole world know our business,” she explained, her voice maddeningly rational.

     The tone of her voice made Joe wince.  Mari rarely used that exact tone, usually saving it for when she thought someone was being extremely thickheaded about something.  She had never used it with him.  Straightening his spine he spit out, “We have no business for anyone to know.”

     “Really, Joe?”  When he did not respond, Mari’s annoyance level kicked up a notch.  “Fine, then.  I didn’t want anyone to know we are fighting.”

     “We aren’t fighting,” Joe insisted.

     That did it.  Annoyance slid into hot irritation.  “Then what exactly do you call it, Joe?” Mari demanded, coming to stand in front of him.  “You haven’t spoken a word to me in nearly a week.  You don’t return any of my phone calls.  You make sure you come home so late I’m sleeping and leave before I’m up in the morning, if you come home at all.”  She ticked off the items on her fingers.  “If this isn’t fighting, what is it?”

     “Self preservation.”

     “What exactly is that supposed to mean?”

     Joe ran his hands through his already mussed blonde hair, leaving it standing on end. Desperation tinged his voice as he said, “I need to be away from you to think properly.”

     “And have you been thinking?”

     “Yes.  I’m thinking that I can’t deal with this.”  The pitch of his voice rose higher still.  “You make it sound so easy, Mari.  God gave us a miracle, you say.  But miracles don’t happen to me.  If they did, I would have had a mother and a father who loved each other and stayed together.”  Joe turned away from her to face the window, missing the look of compassion Mari could not hold back at his words.  “Even though I didn’t really know Him, I asked God for that Mari.  When I finally did come to know Him I prayed He would minimize the damage the mumps had caused because I really did want a family despite what had happened with my parents.  In the ten years we’ve been married we have never used birth control.  We made love at all times of the month and you were regular as clockwork.” 

     He turned back to her, blue eyes clouded in confusion and hurt. “I know that sometimes His answer is no and I accepted that I was not going to have a family.  Now you’re asking me to believe that after all this time God would allow me to make you pregnant.  That’s just too much for me to accept.  It’s not the Christmas story here, you know.  We aren’t Zachariah and Elizabeth.  Or Joseph and Mary, for that matter.  God isn’t going to supernaturally make you pregnant.  This is the real world.”

     Mari’s mouth dropped open in disbelief.  “The real world?  You’re telling me you don’t believe that was real?”

     “That is not what I meant.  I believe that the Lord was born through Mary conceiving from the Holy Spirit.  As much as I might want to, since the alternative just kills me, I don’t believe your pregnancy was brought about through the Holy Spirit.”

     “You are so frustrating, Joe.”  The foot Mari stomped made no noise on the lush carpeting of Joe’s office which only added to her ire.  “You believe, you don’t believe.  You want to believe, you can’t believe.  Make up your stupid mind!”  Mari spit out the words then spun around and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her.

     Joe collapsed into his chair and dropped his head in his hands.  This first encounter with his wife after her announcement Monday and their argument Tuesday had not gone as he had hoped.  He had purposefully stayed away from the house as much as possible this week to avoid having a confrontation with his wife until he had had time to assimilate what she had told him.  He had not thought she would actually force a meeting in his office, although after ten years he should have remembered she was not one to dodge a difficult subject. 

     His mind was a tangle of thoughts and emotions.  He felt like he was on a roller coaster that would not stop no matter how much he cried to get off.  There were so many conflicting emotions vying for prominence in his head.  If he did not get some relief soon he felt it would explode.  Grabbing his cell phone, he hit the speed dial, heart hammering.  He waited in trepidation until his call was answered.  After a brief conversation, he left the office telling his very curious secretary he would be out for the rest of day.

An Unexpected Miracle-Chapter 3-2

           Joe was not home when she pulled into the attached garage, and for once Mari was thankful.  She was tired, hungry, and not up for another argument.  Given the way she had been feeling lately, Mari opted for a light meal, then a relaxing bath.  Joe still was not home when she got out, so Mari sat down in the family room and waited for Marla to call with the results of her tests.

           Just after eight the phone rang, the loudness of it startling Mari.  She had been very engrossed in a book on middle aged pregnancy and the sound of the ringing phone almost made her jump out of her chair.  With no caller ID on the house phone, Mari wondered if it was Joe or Marla calling.  Praying for the latter, Mari picked up the receiver.

           “I just got back from a delivery,” Marla’s voice was breathless.  “I absolutely love that feeling.”  Before Mari could comment Marla launched into an account of the tests she had run on Mari that morning and the ultrasound results from that afternoon.  “Everything looks good.  Your iron is low, but the prenatal vitamins will take care of that.  You should drink lots of fluids and avoid caffeine.”

“But…”

            “No buts.  No Diet Coke,” Marla ordered then seemed to think better of that. “Or at least try to tone it down.  A lot.”  Marla took a breath.  “Any questions?”

            “Oh, you mean I get to talk now?”

            “Don’t be funny.”

            “Okay.  Here’s my question.  How did this happen?  We’ve been married over ten years so I’m pretty sure immaculate conception can be ruled out.  I’ve never paid much attention to my cycle since I didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant so I never really noticed the missed periods with all the throwing up.  The last time we had sex I didn’t think it was the right time for me to get pregnant anyway.  And Joe told me last night that he confirmed with his doctor that he couldn’t father a child.”

            “Humm.  Did the doctor say he had no sperm count or a low sperm count?”

            “I have no idea.  According to Joe the doctor said his chances of fathering a child were next to nothing.”

            “That’s interesting,” Marla mused out loud.  “Do you have any idea when Joe first found out he couldn’t have children?”

             “I’m not sure really.  I think it was in high school.  He told me shortly after we met that he couldn’t have children and that was when he was a senior.  I never thought much about it until we decided to get married.  Even then he didn’t really expand on the whys.  It was hard but I figured I could live without kids or maybe we could adopt.”

             “Did you ever discuss artificial insemination?”

             “A little, at the very beginning.  But Joe was adamant that the doctor told him he could not father a child no matter what so I never really pursued that option.”

              “Do you know when Joe last did a sperm count?”

              Mari let out an exasperated sigh.  “I have no idea, Marla.  It’s not something we ever talk about.”

             “Would Joe be willing to go through some more tests?”

            “I have to doubt that, Marla.  He’s not really speaking to me at the moment.  It seems to me he would rather believe I would have an affair then believe he could father a baby.  Why, I have no idea.”

            “I wish there was something I could say to change things, Mari,” Marla sighed.  “Greg and I will pray for you guys.”

            “Thanks, Marla.”  Mari gently set the phone on its cradle.  She walked out onto the back deck, resting her hands on the railing.  Her shoulders shook with sobs.  How am I going to get through this Lord? she wondered.  When no answer came, she turned and went back into the house.

An Unexpected Miralce-Chapter 3

Chapter Three

When Mari awoke the next morning, it was to a sense of disquiet.  She rolled to her side, pressing a hand to her stomach.  Had yesterday happened?  Was it just a bad dream?  The other side of the king bed was empty, mocking her.  Normally she and Joe rose together, started the day with prayer, then prepared for the rest of their day.  Reaching a hand over to feel the coldness of Joe’s side of the bed, Mari wondered if he had come home last night.  She dragged herself out of bed and padded down the hall to peek into the guest room.  It was in total disarray.  Shirts were tossed over the chair, pants thrown over the bedcover.  Other personal items were scattered around the room, but Joe was not there, and by the absence of his briefcase she guessed he was not in the house. 

Feeling tense and depressed, Mari headed back to the master bedroom.  Even if he had been home, Mari had no idea what to say to him.  There was really no way to force Joe to accept the reality of the situation.  Getting angry at him would not change anything, although screaming at the top of her lungs might possibly make her feel better.  Rather then giving into the hysteria bubbling just below the surface, she showered and dressed before grabbing some crackers from the kitchen and heading out the door.  Her doctor’s appointment was scheduled for ten and she did not want to be late.  Marla had done a lot of rearranging to fit her into her list when she found out it was Mari making the appointment.

“What brings you in here?” Marla greeted her with a smile, shutting the exam room door behind her.  Marla was a tall woman, almost able to look her husband eye to eye.  Dressed in dark skirt and red blouse covered by a white lab coat, her chocolate brown hair pulled up in a smart French twist, she looked very professional, but still much younger than her thirty-six years.  She and Greg Wilson had been newly married when Mari began working for Greg.  When Marla opened her own practice Mari had switched to Marla as her primary care physician.  “Is the world ending?”  When an immediate and snappy answer was not forthcoming, Marla’s dark brown eyes narrowed in worry and she gazed intently at her friend. “What is it, Mari?”

Hazel eyes filled and tears slowly dripped down Marilee’s cheeks.  “Marla, I think I’m pregnant,” she whispered, watching as Marla’s eyes grew wide and her mouthed formed a huge O.

“How can you be pregnant, Mari?”  The Conleys and Wilsons had become close friends over the years.  Marla knew Joe’s history of infertility.

Through her tears, Mari described her symptoms, telling Marla everything, from thinking she had the flu, to the conversation in the elevator, to the home pregnancy test and finally Joe’s return from Houston and not believing the baby was his.

“Well, those home pregnancy tests are fairly reliable, Mari.  There aren’t very many false positives that I’m aware of.  But we’ll do another test anyway.”  She called for a nurse to come in and draw some blood.  After carefully labeling the vial, the nurse and Marla left the room to give Mari some privacy as she changed.  Mari undressed and covered herself with the paper gown Marla had left out for her.  A short time later the doctor returned. 

“I’ll do a physical examination to see if maybe there’s something else going on.”  After several minutes of rather uncomfortable poking and prodding, Marla lowered the paper gown. Stripping off her gloves, she washed her hands at the small sink then picked up the chart the nurse had slipped in the room.  She looked up at Mari.  “You’re definitely pregnant,” Marla confirmed, blue eyes compassionate.  She gave Mari her hand, helping her into a sitting position.  “After the exam and all you’ve told me I would guess about four and a half months.  An ultrasound will give us a better understanding of exactly when you’re due.”  Putting her arms around Mari’s shoulders she hugged her friend. 

“What about a paternity test, Marla?  Can that be done?”

“We can do a prenatal paternity test if you’d like but you need to know there are some risks involved.  We can do an amniocentesis but there is a slight possibility of miscarriage.” 

Mari shook her head.  “I never thought I would be pregnant, Marla.  I don’t want to take any chances on losing the baby.”

“It’s not a big risk, and for a woman your age, an amnio is often done anyway.”

“I’m only thirty-four, Marla.  Is it really necessary for me to do that?”

“You’re thirty-four and this is your first pregnancy.  Older women have a greater chance of genetic defects.  An amnio is used to detect genetic or chromosomal problems with your baby.  Do you have any concerns with that?”

“Not really.  My family history is fairly straight forward, although I’m not really sure about Joe’s.  In the years we’ve been married he has never really mentioned much about his family other than he no longer had one.  I suppose I could ask him.  I’m just not sure how he’ll take it.  Regardless of the test results, I would keep the baby.”

“There is another type of paternity test that can be done pre-natally. It’s non-invasive but there are still some questions about its reliability.”

“It has to be absolutely certain, Marla.  I’m positive of the parentage of this baby but I can’t put Joe through a false result.  If it came back negative, even though I know Joe’s the father, I think it would totally destroy any chance of us being a family.”

“You can always wait until after the baby is born to do the paternity testing, although that means almost five months of not being able to give Joe absolute proof.  I don’t believe you would ever cheat on Joe,” she comforted her friend.  “But, Mari, you have to realize how it might look to him.  This is big, Mari, really big.  His faith may not be strong enough to accept that God really gave you guys a miracle.”

Mari nodded.  “I know, Marla.”  She lowered her head for a moment then looked up into Marla’s sympathetic eyes.  “Unless it is absolutely necessary, I would prefer not to do an amnio.  I realize that may not be what you would advise but I don’t want to take any chances on losing this baby.”

“You’re going to have to sign some waivers about the amnio.  I can run some tests on the blood we drew to see if you may have any suspicious genetic markers.  Obviously, it would be a good idea to run them on Joe too, but I doubt that’s going to happen.”  She grimaced. “If you want a healthy baby you’re going to have to follow my orders.”  She looked at Mari sternly and began ticking off instructions on her fingers.  “First and foremost, you need to get some rest.  I know how pressed you and Greg have been over the grant stuff.  You need to take some time off and gain back some strength.  Greg told me how sick you’ve been.  You should have come to me months ago.  I’ll write a script for some prenatal vitamins, as well.”  She gave Mari an appraising look.  “You could stand to gain a few pounds, not baby related.”  She handed Mari a piece of paper.  “I’m setting you up for an ultrasound this afternoon.  I don’t want to waste any time.  The tech can do it here, and give me the results.  I’ll call you later tonight to discuss it.  And pray, Mari.  Remember, God is bigger than this.”  After another comforting hug, Marla left the room and Mari got dressed.  When she checked out at the front desk the nurse handed her a business card.

“That’s your time for the ultrasound.  Make sure you have a full bladder when you arrive to be scanned.”  Mari finished the paperwork and left the office.  Her ultrasound was scheduled for two-thirty, which left her enough time to run to the pharmacy for the vitamins, then grab some lunch at home.

The drive to the pharmacy was fraught with tension.  People drove like maniacs!  She never realized how many crazy people were out there, although if she were honest with herself, there were times when her own driving was less than stellar.  Today she drove as if carrying a delicate cargo of crystal.  Mind still spinning by the time she pulled into the drive, Mari flew into the house.  Dropping her purse on the kitchen table, Mari ran to the half bath off the dining room and promptly threw up.  Not only was her mind spinning but her stomach was following suit.  Hearing the confirmation of her pregnancy was both exciting and frightening and was playing havoc on her insides. 

Dragging herself back to the kitchen, Mari looked longingly at the phone, wanting so much to call Joe and share her fear and excitement.  But, considering his reaction when she told him the news and then yesterday’s argument, Mari knew calling Joe was not advisable right now.  The thought that she may have to go through this pregnancy alone sent her rushing back to the bathroom.

When she finally emerged, Mari dropped into a kitchen chair and put her head down on her arms resting on the table.  Sobs shook her body and tears wet her arms.  She felt so alone and frightened.  At a time when most women would be ecstatic with joy, Mari’s world was falling apart.  She sat there, drawing in deep breaths, trying to calm herself.  Marla told her stress would make the morning sickness symptoms worse and Mari felt horrible enough.  Raising her head, she leaned back in her chair.  She could almost hear her mother’s voice, asking what she planned to do.

“Oh, mom, I wish you were here.  I need you,” Mari whispered out loud.  Closing her eyes, she let the comforting memories of her mother flow over her.  Susan Thompson had always been a woman of strong faith, and Mari drew comfort from that.  She remembered all the times her mom had prayed for her dad when he was out on patrol, or when there was a big decision to be made.  Despite the dangers of her husband’s profession, Susan had lived her faith and Mari was determined to follow in her mother’s footsteps.  It would not be easy.  Mari did not feel strong in her faith at the moment, but she knew God would not abandon her no matter how weak she was.  She just needed to keep her focus on what was important.

“I have to pray for Joe,” Mari spoke the words aloud.  “I have to pray that I’ll do and say the right things to him when we’re together.”  She slid her purse over to her and grabbed the small notebook she carried inside then pulled out a pen.  Flipping the book open to a blank page Mari began writing out a list of prayers and praise.  Her mother had used this exercise to calm herself when she was feeling anxious.  Susan taught Mari the benefits of writing to relieve her anxieties and Mari practiced it often.  The routine of jotting down her worries and giving them over to the Lord soothed her ragged nerves and calmed her spirit.  When she was finished, Mari read what she had written then put the notebook back in her purse.  She would look back on it from time to time to remind herself of the many blessings she had, and to record the answers to her prayers.

After a light snack, Mari left for her afternoon appointment.  She arrived for the ultrasound and was hustled almost immediately into the back room.  Showing her to a changing room, the nurse instructed her to don yet another paper gown then left.  After undressing and wrapping herself in another lame excuse for modest covering, Mari entered the exam room.  The same woman was positioned next to a gurney and instructed Mari to lie on the table.  The tech moved the front of the gown out of the way and squirted Mari’s abdomen with a glob of gel.  The ultrasound pad glided smoothly through the gel and over her belly.  Mari shivered not only because the gel was cold on her stomach but also in anticipation of what she was about to see.  The tech turned the machine so it was facing Mari, and Mari watched in fascination as a picture of her baby was projected on the screen.

            “Here’s one leg and here’s the other one,” the tech pointed out.  “And you can see the baby’s heart beating here.”

            Mari’s finger touched the screen where the tech pointed.  Her baby’s heart.  It was beating.  There was really a baby in there.  A true miracle.  Tears of joy tempered with sadness filled her eyes.  She was not sure Joe was ever going to acknowledge this miracle baby.  He had been gone before she woke this morning.  Although she had left a message on his cell phone voice mail earlier this morning about the doctor’s appointment he had not returned the call.  She thought about calling him after she had seen Marla but could not think of what to say. 

“Everything seems to be fine,” the tech’s voice brought Mary out of her musings.  “The doctor will want to keep an eye on your level of amniotic fluid.  It appears to be on the low side but still acceptable.”

“Is it a problem?” Mari worried.

“The note in your chart says you’ve been pretty sick.  It could be something as simple as dehydration.  Your doctor will let you know when she gets the results of the testing.”  She rolled the machine away and helped Mari into a sitting position.  She handed Mari a couple of Polaroid pictures.   Mari took them, brow creased in confusion.

“I know these are supposed to be pictures of my baby, but I just don’t see it.”

The tech laughed.  “Yeah, I get that a lot.”  She pointed out the various features with a grin.  “At least you’ll be able to fake it if anyone asks.  Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” the tech asked.  Mari shook her head, dazed.  Too many things to think about.  “If you change your mind, let me know.  We can do another scan in a month or so to tell.”  She helped Mari down from the exam table.  “Go use the restroom and get dressed, then you’re free to go until a week from Monday.”  At Mari’s questioning glance she added, “Your next doctor’s appointment.”

“Oh, yeah, right.”

     After dressing and stopping at the front desk, Mari walked out into the bright sunshine.  The warmth of the afternoon felt wonderful after the chill in the doctor’s office.  She stood next to her SUV and turned her face up to the sun, eyes closed.  A warm breeze bathed her body.  Without volition, her hand made its way to rest on her abdomen.  Her life might be in total chaos right now but at least her baby appeared to be healthy.  She determined to keep it that way.

     Climbing into her Escape, Mari sat staring into the distance, uncertain about how to spend the rest of her afternoon.  It was not even three thirty yet.  She seriously doubted Joe would be home any time soon and even if he was she was not sure she wanted to face him.  Starting the car, she backed out of the parking space, and turned onto

Hall Road

.  As she passed Lakeside Mall a smile tugged at her lips.  Shopping.  With work being so crazy and then the upheaval of what she assumed was a recurring flu bug, it had been ages since she had been to the mall.  And, although she was not ready to buy a new wardrobe of maternity clothes, the pinch of her jeans on her belly meant that she needed clothes that would gracefully hide her pregnancy for a bit.

     At four in the afternoon the mall was not too crowded and Mari had a pleasant time roaming from store to store.  She purchased a pair of jeans the next size up that fit well enough, and a couple of loose shirts.  Walking past the bookstore, Mari wandered in and meandered back to the woman’s section where she picked up a book on pregnancy.  She leafed through several before she found a couple that she decided to purchase.  Adding that bag to the others she carried, Mari left the bookstore and headed towards her car.

So...What do you think so far?

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An Unexpected Romance-Chapter 2-3

     Mari woke slowly, a kink in her neck from her head leaning against her shoulder.  She was still curled up in the chair in the living room but someone, obviously Joe, had covered her with a soft blanket.  A light burned softly from the lamp on the end table and the ceiling fan whirled leisurely creating a slight breeze to keep the room cool.  She carefully straightened her neck, working the kinks from her tight muscles, then uncurled her legs and sat up.  Though she strained her ears, Mari did not hear any sounds other than the normal settling sounds around the house.  Glancing down at her watch she noticed with dismay that it was past nine.  She had been asleep for hours.

     Pushing herself out of the chair, she walked through the hall and into the kitchen.  A half full pot of coffee was in the coffee maker, but there was no sign of Joe.  There were no dirty dishes in the sink to indicate that he had eaten here and other than the coffee there was no indication that he had even been in the kitchen.  Mari’s stomach rumbled and for the first time in what seemed like forever she actually felt hunger.  Rummaging through the refrigerator she grabbed some eggs, cheese, and ham and set about preparing an omelet.  Turning the heat down on the burner, she went into the hall to get her cell phone from her purse.  Flipping it open, she noticed a new text message.  Letting out a huff of frustration, she pressed okay and the message popped up on the tiny screen.  “At work, home late.” 

     “Avoidance mode,” Mari mumbled as she walked back to the kitchen to check on her omelet.  It was the one characteristic her husband possessed that really bothered her.  The few times they had had a serious argument he would avoid the conflict, which usually just compounded the problem.  He would either clam up or try to move on to another subject.  It was a trait Mari had a hard time dealing with since it had never been acceptable in her home to avoid a problem.  Growing up the daughter of a State Trooper and a high school administrator she had learned early on to face the cause of the conflict and work towards a solution.  Both Gordon and Susan Thompson had instilled in their daughter the consequences of avoiding dealing with a disagreement.  Delaying tactics were not tolerated by the “general”, the nickname Marilee had affectionately given her father.   

     When her omelet was finished Mari slid it onto a waiting plate, grabbed a glass of milk and took both upstairs.  The house was too quiet.  Although it had always been just the two of them, they did seem to make a lot of noise when they were home together.  Even on the nights when Joe worked late and Mari was home alone the house did not seem as quiet as it was tonight.  The house was eerily hushed, she thought, shivering. She hated the silence, feeling it wrap around her, trying to smother the life out of her.  I have to stop watching those scary movies, Mari thought as she shook her head to clear the images out.  There were times an overactive imagination was not a good thing, she grimaced as she set her plate and glass on the small table by the window. 

     Mari grabbed the remote and switched on the television, channel flipping until she found a comedy.  She settled into the chair to eat, hoping the absurdity of the movie would dispel the gloom that pervaded the room.  When her eyelids became heavy enough she felt she would be able to sleep, she shut off the movie and got ready for bed.  Am I always going to be this tired, she wondered as she crawled into bed and turned off the light.

An Unexpected Miracle-Chapter 2-2

     Until the summer he turned ten, Joe would have described his life as fairly uneventful. Being the only child of a couple who had waited until their mid thirties to have children, he had merrily gone his way, oblivious to any undercurrents of tension in their home.  Joyce Conley had given up a promising career as a lawyer at his father’s insistence in order to stay home with their son.  Dennis Conley, employed in the construction business, worked hard to provide for his family and came home at the end of the day too tired to spend much time with his only child.  They were not exactly a boisterously happy or demonstrative family, but seemed to get along all right.  As the years passed, tension grew. The majority of the arguments seemed to revolve around other children, but Joe had no idea what it all meant, nor did he really want to.

     The summer he celebrated his tenth birthday Joe’s world fell apart.  It seemed like such a small thing.  Beginning in the early summer a man came over to the house three or four times a week to do odd jobs around the house.  Joe’s mom said it was to make his dad’s life easier and shooed Joe off to go play outdoors with his friends whenever the man showed up, which was okay with him.  He occasionally saw the man enter the house, but figured he was probably working on some project in the house or getting a drink. 

     Joe’s birthday was in mid July and his mom threw a big party for him.  Boys from the neighborhood and some from his class at school came to celebrate with him.  They ran through the house and yard, playing games his mother set up.  There was even a piñata with tons of candy inside.  They had cake and ice cream, and there were so many presents, Joe thought he was in heaven.  His mom leaned over his shoulder when he finished opening them, and whispered in his ear that she had a very special present to share with him later.  Shortly after the guests left, Joe began tearing through his gifts in the family room.  When he heard raised voices in the kitchen he crawled over to the door and peered around the corner.  His parents were arguing again.  He was just about to duck back into the family room when he heard his mom announce she was going to have a baby.  For reasons unknown to Joe, his father began screaming, calling his mom all kinds of names.  He stormed out of the house, the slam of the door rattling the china in the cupboards.

     “Where’d Dad go?” Joe questioned as he stepped cautiously into the kitchen.

     “He’ll be back, Joey, don’t worry,” Joyce assured him, although the words were said with a nervous assurance.  “Go back and play with your new toys.” 

     “What present are you going to give me, Mom?  You said before you would share it with me later.”

     Joyce grimaced as she bent down to her son.  “You’re going to have a brother or sister, Joey,” she said. 

     “Why?”

     “Mommy is pregnant and going to have a baby.”

     “Is that why dad is so mad?  Didn’t he want another baby?”

     “We’ll talk about it later, Joe,” Joyce commanded.  She ushered him back into the family room then disappeared into her bedroom.  Joe could hear her mumbling voice talking on the telephone but he did not know who she was talking to.

     Dennis Conley did not come back and a few days later Joe’s mother became sick and was taken to the hospital.  When she returned home she was pale and drawn, and told Joe that his baby brother or sister had gone to heaven.  When Joe mentioned a few days later that the grass was really long and was that man going to come over and cut it, his mother burst into tears.  “No, he isn’t and neither is your father!” she cried and rushed out of the room. 

     As a boy not yet into puberty, Joe had not understood what had happened between his parents, but knew that somehow his mother’s pregnancy was behind the upheaval in his life. As each day passed and his father did not return, his mother withdrew more into herself.  Needing reassurance, Joe had tried to reach out to his mom, but she ignored him and retreated further.  By the time he turned fourteen he had stopped trying and had become self-sufficient and very angry at both his parents.  

     It was several years later when Joe found out his mom had been having an affair with the man who came over to do odd jobs that fateful summer and become pregnant by him.  She had thrown away years of marriage and her own son, all because she had wanted another child.  His dad refused to forgive her.  In the years after Dennis Conley left them, cards and gifts came at birthdays and Christmas, but he never came to see his son and never had any contact with Joe’s mother.  Joe’s resentment blossomed during those years toward his father, but even more so towards his mother.  In his young mind he saw her desire to have another baby as the cause of his father’s leaving and blamed her for the break-up of their family.  Joe let her know in no uncertain terms what he felt about what was happening, but to no avail.  Sunk so far into depression, Joe’s anger had no affect on her. 

     The day he turned eighteen he left home and did not look back.  He passed the milestones of his high school and college graduations and his marriage to Marilee without telling either of his parents of the events in his life.  Somewhere out there his father was remarried with another family.  His mother died of ovarian cancer when Joe was thirty.  Not understanding why but unable to stop himself, Joe attended the funeral, standing alone and apart from the few other mourners.  Bitterness still held him and even after all this time he could not find forgiveness for her in his heart.

     This was a part of his life he had never shared with his wife; his mom’s affair, his dad leaving, even the fact that he had living parents when they married.  In fact, he rarely mentioned his life before meeting Mari.  His only goal had been to simply put it all behind him and move ahead, and he thought he had done that. Giving his life to Christ the summer before entering college had eased some of the burden he had been carrying but he still felt weighted down with some undefined emotions. Marriage to Marilee, a strong Christian woman, had brought him a measure of happiness but something was still not right.  Although he felt he had a strong walk with the Lord, there was still an aching emptiness inside that he could not identify. 

     When he met Marilee his senior year of college, he fell in love with her, totally.  She was two years his junior and they dated for four years.  They married the year she finished her master’s degree.  He was up front with her about his inability to father children.  Joe knew she was disappointed, she was a born nurturer, but when she said yes to his proposal Marilee assured Joe that she had prayed about the situation and was willing to forego the dream of having a family.  Mari felt God had brought Joe and her together and if He desired for them to have children, they would, but she laughingly told Joe that she would not hold her breath.  God might choose to wait twenty years for a miracle, she laughed, and she did not think she could hold her breath that long.

     Joe’s mouth quirked at the memory.  Mari had told him that the night he proposed to her.  She also promised him she would continue to pray for God’s will to be done in their marriage.  For the last ten years they had prayed together as man and wife, and the years had been good.  Wonderful, even.  Their faith had grown together, their friendship had grown, and their intimate life blew Joe’s mind. Mari delighted him in so many ways.  She was funny and passionate, beautiful and strong, and a blessed helpmate for him. 

     Despite the strength of their marriage, some little part of him had trouble believing life could be this good.  At the beginning of their life together, Joe had to fight the urge to constantly check up on what Mari was doing.  He was almost ashamed of the way he would drive by her building to see if her car was in the parking lot or pop into the lab unexpectedly to see who she was working with.  The need to reassure himself lessened over the years, but once in a while the need to check on what she was doing overcame him.

     Could he stay with her, he wondered, watching the woman he called “wife” sleep.  Would he be able to accept Mari’s explanation of what had happened and raise the child she carried, always wondering if it was his?  He turned and walked to the kitchen to put on a fresh pot of coffee.  His hands worked automatically as his mind spun.  The more his mind mulled the situation, the more agitated he became.  It was like being ten all over again.  Something as small as a baby causing so much upheaval only this time Joe was a key player in the drama, not just on the sidelines watching. 

     Joe was not sure if he was strong enough to endure the resurgence of the all the pain stored up from his childhood.  He subconsciously retreated from the problem pushing away the pain.  Grabbing his travel mug out of the cupboard, Joe filled it with coffee.  He picked up his briefcase and headed out the door.  He could not be in the house with Mari while his emotions roiled so close to the surface.  His office seemed a safe place to hide for the time being.

An Unexpected Miracle, Chapter 2

Chapter Two

     A still silence hung over the house when Mari awoke the next morning.  She sat up, brushing the tangled mass of brown hair out of her face.  Morning sun shone brightly through the bedroom window, making her squint with the intensity of it.  When Mari saw what time it was, she groaned.  Nine thirty.  Even with her personal life so messed up, this grant was important. There were only a few days left before it was due, so it was essential that she go into work today.  Normally she was there by seven thirty.  Obviously not today.

     Forcing herself to get out of bed, she turned off the bedside light and headed toward the bathroom.  Catching sight of her reflection in the dresser mirror, Mari winced.  Her face was pale and blotchy from all the tears she had cried the night before.  Stripping off the shorts and tank top she still wore from yesterday, she turned on the shower and climbed in, letting the warm water flow over her aching body.  It felt wonderful, so soothing, but as much as she wanted to stay in there all day, Mari knew this morning’s shower would have to be short.  After a quick shower she did her best to cover the evidence of her restless night by applying a light coat of foundation and some blush.  She hoped to avoid any questions from her boss today, at least until she was able to talk with Joe again. 

     She was out the door just after ten, and thanks to light traffic and a heavy foot, arrived at the Research Center a half hour later.  In an effort to avoid seeing anyone who might ask questions about why she was so late, Mari bypassed the elevator in favor of the stairs.  She was not sure she could keep the tears at bay if anyone asked her how she was today.  Although she was ready to collapse by the time she reached the lab, she made it safely without encountering a soul. She dumped her backpack on her desk and slid into her chair trying to catch her breath.  Less than five minutes later her boss entered the lab looking for her.

     “Hey, Mari,” Dr. Greg Wilson called as he let himself in the lab.  A head full of wavy black hair appeared around the cabinet that hid her desk from view.  The six foot two frame that followed was more suited to a movie star than a PhD.  He had eyes as gray as a London fog set in a long and lean face, and a body envied by most of the male research staff and ogled by most of the female staff.  But that Hollywood image hid a mind as sharp as a tack and Mari knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to hide anything from him.  “I was getting worried,” he said as he walked over to her desk.  “I thought you might have finally gone running for the hills after all the time we’ve had to put in lately.” 

     “Sorry.  I overslept,” Mari replied.  She angled her body towards the desk to avoid eye contact with her very intelligent boss.

     He raised his brows at her rather curt response, but considering the last four months had been rough both work wise and personally, he let it pass.  Mari was usually the epitome of a morning person, which at times could be extremely annoying. It normally took him at least an hour and several cups of strong black coffee before he even began to function properly.  “Don’t worry about it.  I have those figures for you to look at then I think we can get this sent out.”  He handed over a sheaf of papers as he took a seat on the edge of her desk.  Leaning back so he could see her more clearly he remarked, “Must have been some night.”  When Mari did not respond he bent to take a closer look.  “I know it probably isn’t my business, but if you need to talk, I’m here.”

     Mari fought back tears.  She had been Greg Wilson’s research assistant for almost ten years now and their employer/employee relationship had developed into a deep friendship.  “I’ll keep that in mind, Greg.”

     “Take a quick look at these,” he told her, gesturing to the papers in her hand, “then go home.  And don’t come back.  Not for a week, at least.”  Greg overruled Mari’s protest with a raised hand.  “It has to be something serious for you to wear make-up in the middle of summer.  The grant is finished.  It’s going out the door tomorrow and any revisions that need to be done I can do.  And Mari,” he said, cupping her chin in a firm hand and forcing her to look into his concerned gray eyes, “Call Marla.  You’ve been sick too long to ignore any more.”  On that parting note he got up and exited the lab.

     Greg’s unconditional kindness proved too much for her already tattered emotions.  Tears welled and began to fall.  She wiped at them with the back of her hand.  He was right.  It was time to call Dr. Marla Wilson, her primary care physician, who also happened to be Greg’s wife.  Her pregnancy needed to be confirmed and pre-natal care started.  Drawing on a well of inner strength, Mari placed the call and had an appointment for the next morning.  She only hoped there would be an opportunity to talk to Joe before then.  If she went to this appointment with him still believing the worst of her, she might just fall apart.

     It seemed her wish was to be granted.  When Mari arrived home just after two o’clock, Joe’s car was parked in the driveway.  She pulled her SUV next to his Taurus and stepped out, hesitating momentarily.   Relief warred with nerves.  This whole situation was tenuous at best.  What was she going to say?  She closed her eyes, bowing her head.  Oh, Lord, give me the right words and let him hear and believe me.  Mari walked slowly toward the house, each step harder than the one before.  Her wandering mind absently noted that the flower pots on the porch needed watering.  When that thought popped into her head, she rolled her eyes.  She normally did not fear confrontation.  Yeah, but this isn’t your everyday argument about leaving socks on the bathroom floor, Mari grimaced to herself.

     She opened the front door, pausing a moment to let the coolness of the house wash over her.  Stepping inside, she was met by the sight of her husband leaning against the doorframe of the living room, arms folded across his chest.  Dressed in a black business suit with a crisp white shirt and red power tie, Joe looked extremely intimidating.  His blue eyes were cold and distant, the color of a high mountain lake and his posture screamed “unapproachable.”

     “Hi, Joe,” Mari greeted him cautiously.  She shivered slightly as she closed the entry door and put her keys and backpack on the hall table.  The atmosphere was like walking into the frozen tundra and the t-shirt and skirt she wore were more suited to warm weather.  Never one to back down, Mari squared her shoulders before turning to face him.  Gathering her courage she asked, “Can we talk?”

     “Talk about what, Mari?  What can you possibly say that will change any of this?”  Joe pushed away from the wall and stalked into the living room.  He flung his six foot body into a chair barely managing to contain the rage boiling just below the surface.  Jerking his head towards the facing chair, he motioned for Mari to be seated.  When she warily settled onto the edge of the chair he gripped the arms of his chair and gave vent to the anger bubbling inside him.  “I don’t understand why you did this.”

     “This what, Joe?” Trying hard to bury a sudden rise in frustration, Mari leaned forward to stress her words.  “I did not have an affair.”  Each word was enunciated carefully.  “How many times do I have to say it before you believe me?  The last time I had sex was with you and that was over four months ago, the morning you left for Houston.  Since then I’ve been working like a madwoman trying to get Greg’s grant renewal work done.  You know what grant time is like, Joe.  There hasn’t been time to do anything but work in the lab and at the computer for the past four months.  I’ve worked late almost every night.  If you don’t believe that, you’re welcome to talk to Greg.  Most nights when I finished work, I came home and collapsed from exhaustion.”

     Joe turned his head, staring out the window. An uncomfortable silence stretched. When he finally turned back to face her, there was a bleakness in his eyes that tore at Mari’s heartstrings.  “I want to believe you Mari, I really do.  I love you so much.” The words were said with such fervor and such pain Mari’s heart ached.  “I want to believe you so much that I called the doctor who treated me when I had the mumps today in the hopes that maybe the reports were wrong all those years ago.  But he looked over my records and confirmed that the possibility of me fathering a child was next to nothing.  My sperm count was so low he didn’t even think using my sperm for artificial insemination would be worth the effort.”

     Mari rose from her chair and went to kneel in front of her husband.  “I know it’s hard to believe, honey,” she said, her voice beseeching.  She took one of his hands grasping it tightly between hers.  When he stiffened but did not pull away she continued.  “I’m having a hard time with it myself.  I struggled knowing I would never have a child from my own womb.  I know you know that.  But I love you.  I loved you enough to give up the dream of having a family.  Scientifically I know that what has happened is close to impossible.  But miracles do happen, Joe.  I don’t know why God would choose to give us one, but he has.”  Mari’s voice pleaded for him to understand.

     “Mari.  I can’t.  I just cannot believe that this type of miracle could or would happen to me.” Joe rose abruptly causing Mari to scramble to her feet.  He stood stiffly in front of her, staring at her belly, his face a mask of pain.  “When this comes out,” he gestured towards her stomach, “there’s going to be talk.  We’ve been married ten years and most people know we can’t have kids.  I’d rather not add to all the speculation this pregnancy is going to cause so I won’t move out, but I can’t be around you, Mari.  It hurts too much,” his voice turned quiet, the words anguished.  “I’ll be moving into one of the guest rooms.  The time in Houston put me behind on my accounts at work so I won’t be home much anyway.  I need time to think.”  Turning his back on her, he strode out of the room and up the stairs. 

     Sounds overhead indicated Joe was moving between the master bedroom and the guest room at the far end of the house.  Mari sank down into the chair Joe had vacated, despair filling her.  Her head drooped on the back of the cushioned seat.  What am I going to do, Lord? she wondered.  You answered my most secret prayer and I’m about to lose the person I love most in the world.  A heavy sigh came from deep inside.  A wave of exhaustion crashed down on her.  She was so tired she could not keep her eyes open.  They fluttered closed and Mari drifted into a deep, but troubled sleep.

     An hour passed before Joe walked softly down the stairs.  He peered cautiously into the living room and found Mari deeply asleep in the chair he had vacated earlier, legs curled up under her, head resting on her shoulder.  He gazed down at this woman he had married, the woman who had made each day since he met her so wonderful.  His heart and body ached with desire for her but the pain of her betrayal was so raw.  Strands of soft brown hair fell in untidy waves around her face highlighting the pallor of her skin.  Her face was thinner now than it had been four months ago and dark circles stood out like bruises beneath her eyes.  Never in a million years would he have guessed that the flu symptoms she described having would actually be morning sickness.  As his gaze slid down her body he could see the subtle changes this pregnancy had brought to her body.  Her waist was thicker, her shirt tighter.  But she was still, oh, so beautiful. 

     Emotions warred within him.  He loved his wife, had believed that nothing could come between them.  But echoes of the past clouded his thoughts, allowing doubt to gain a foothold in his mind.