Joe stood on the apartment balcony and looked up into the night sky. The stars were twinkling, those that he could see anyway. The city lights made star gazing rather difficult. He turned and walked back into the living room. The evening was too warm for this time of year, almost muggy, with a hint of rain. Joe could see clouds low on the horizon in the west and wondered when the storm would get here. Soon, he hoped. It would give him something else to think about, other than how much he hurt.
He paced around the small space. This trip was not turning out to be the escape he had hoped it would be. Yes, he was away from Marilee. He did not have to see the child growing within her, did not have to see her face or talk to her. But he still wondered almost every minute what she was doing, who she was seeing. Was there another man, he wondered. Was there someone with her right now keeping her company? Joe growled. Those thoughts made him crazy.
He had accepted this position to get away from his wife and the child she carried. Unfortunately for him, it appeared God had other plans. He seemed to be thrust into the midst of an office apparently full of pregnant women. He knew that was an exaggeration, but it felt like everyone who worked in the office was either pregnant, the husband of a pregnant wife, or was related in some way to someone who was having a baby. The position he was filling was for a woman on maternity leave. Joe was just about to go around the bend. Today was the capper for him. He had only been down here for a month, and had pretty much kept to himself in that time, excusing his behavior by focusing on the amount of backlog there was to catch up on.
When he arrived at the office this morning, later than normal because the management class he was teaching that morning had run over, it was decorated with streamers and balloons. He asked a co-worker what was going on and was informed that it was baby shower day. Joe was furious, but hid his frustration behind a mask of indifference. He was in no mood to attend a baby shower. He shut himself in his office, pouring himself into his work.
It’s not like they are doing this on purpose, Joe remonstrated himself later as he sat alone in his office. His co-workers had no idea why he was here other than to fill in. He could hear people talking and laughing as they went about their work. These people have no clue what drove you to take this assignment. As far as they’re concerned you’re just another company man doing a stint away from the home office.
Not wanting to alienate his co-workers any more than he already had, Joe slipped out at lunch and purchased gift cards at a nearby boutique that sold baby items. He had overheard a couple of the ladies mention the store when they were talking the other day, so felt it was a safe bet. Before the party he signed the cards and enclosed the gift cards, leaving them in the appropriate baskets for each “baby”. Joe participated in the conversations around the large conference room and was even able to congratulate the expectant parents. But his heart ached so much that by the end of the day he could barely function. He left the office as soon as the shower was finished, driving around mindlessly for hours before he finally headed back to his apartment.
Once there, thoughts of his wife invaded his mind. He could not get the image of her before she walked out the bedroom door out of his mind. Six months pregnant, her belly was swollen with child. In contrast, her face was thin and pale. Despite the exhaustion that always seemed to be present, Mari had glowed. He did not want to think of her as any more beautiful, but she was. The baby growing within her touched her in a way he could not fathom, making her seem almost ethereal. Her hazel eyes had pierced him with the sadness they held. With her brown hair hanging long over her shoulders, she had seemed so much younger than her thirty-four years, too young to be carrying a child.
Joe shook his head dispelling the image. He had to quit thinking about this or he was going to go nuts. He walked over to the stereo and flipped on the CD player. Michael W. Smith came blaring out of the speakers. In deference to those living in the apartments around him, Joe turned the music down to a more acceptable level then settled on the couch. He pulled his briefcase towards him and pulled out a sheaf of papers. With any luck the essays from this morning’s class would put him to sleep and out of his misery.
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