An Unexpected Miracle--Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Their next meeting with Mark Nolan was scheduled for Tuesday morning.  Joe had not seen Mari since their confrontation Sunday afternoon.  He spent the rest of the evening in his room, television turned on loud enough that he could not hear if Mari were moving around or not.  He did not want to think of her, of the child she carried, of the betrayal of their marriage vows.  When he left for work Monday morning, Joe took a suitcase with him and had not returned to the house.  He still shook with anger when he thought about the man leaving his house Sunday afternoon, but he refused to ask Mari who it was.  It was enough that there had been a man in their home without his knowledge.   

He spent most of Monday locked in his office, doing little work but spending most of his time staring out the window waffling about whether he would attend the counseling session the next day.  Tuesday dawned, and after a restless night spent on the couch in his office, he decided he had had enough.  The time had come for him to make some serious decisions regarding his life and staying in Michigan around Mari only clouded his thinking.  When he called the church office to leave a message for Mark, he felt a soft pang of guilt but ignored it.  There was nothing Mark could say to make him change his mind.  Joe had to make this decision on his own.

Mari looked over at Mark as he spoke into the phone.  Joe was not coming.  She knew just by the look on Mark’s face.  Mari was not surprised.  Joe was gone before she woke on Monday morning and had not been home since.  She had peeked into the guest room and noticed his overnight bag missing from the closet and some toiletries from the guest bathroom.  Mari had done nothing to contact him.  She had thought about what had caused this latest outburst and could only guess that he had seen Greg’s nephew leaving the house Sunday afternoon.  From his actions, she assumed Joe believed that this man was her lover.  She made no attempt to contradict that assumption.  She was so tired of having to defend her actions against his paranoia. 

Leaning back against the cushion of the chair Mari closed her eyes.  Her emotions were all over the place lately and she was exhausted.  And sick again.  After this appointment with Mark, she had an appointment with Marla, who she was sure was going to chew her out about taking care of herself.  A sigh escaped.  Life was just so hard right now.

Mark watched Mari, worry in his eyes.  He knew something was very wrong.  Joe’s non-attendance at this meeting did not bode well for reconciliation.  Mari was pale and tense sitting across from him.  It was obvious something had happened since he had seen them together at Jordan’s wedding Saturday night.  They had seemed almost normal at the reception the few times he had seen them together.  Now Mari was here and Joe was not coming.  According to Janice, his secretary, Joe’s voice had been calm, collected and totally devoid of emotion.  Mark had to figure out what had happened.  He just hated to wake Mari to do it.

He rose and walked over to Mari’s chair.  He kneeled down next to her chair and gently shook her awake.   Her eyes opened slowly.

“He’s not coming is he?” she asked quietly.

“No.  I’m sorry, Mari.”

“It’s not your fault, Mark.”  She leaned forward in the chair resting her arms on her thighs.  Dejection poured out of her.  “I knew he wouldn’t.”

“What happened, Mari?”

“Saturday night, after the wedding, he almost seemed upbeat.  He told me he wanted to talk, but by the time we were able to get away from the reception I was so tired.  He said we would talk in the morning but when I came downstairs Sunday morning he was so angry.  The only thing I can think of is the phone call.”  When Mark looked at her questioningly, she explained.  “The phone actually woke me up that morning.  Joe answered it.  When I went downstairs to ask about it he was furious.  He wouldn’t talk about it, just went on about how he couldn’t have children then stormed out.  When he came home Sunday afternoon, he was almost out of control.  He yelled that I was just like his mother.  I never even knew his mother had been alive when we were married.  He told me about her affair, how she had gotten pregnant, and his dad leaving because of her.  I was honestly afraid he was going to hurt me.”

Mark frowned.  “He hit you?”

“No, no, nothing like that.  But I think he really wanted to.  I don’t think the anger was directed solely at me, but my pregnancy was just the kicker, you know?  I haven’t seen him since then.”

Mark rose and went back to in his desk.  This situation was getting out of control.  If Joe had actually hurt Mari, there would be no turning back for him.  “Do you have any idea where he is?”

“No.  I assume a hotel.  It’s possible he came back for clothes, but not so I’d notice.”  Mari watched Pastor Mark.  “Did you know about his parents?”

“He told me about two weeks ago.  I was hoping he would tell you that afternoon we met but that didn’t happen.  I don’t know what to tell you Mari.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Mark.  This is Joe’s problem.  As much as I want to help him, I can’t.  He won’t let me.”  She rose from her seat.  “I know you tried, Mark,” she told him as she gathered her coat and purse.  “There’s nothing either of us can do now, other than to pray for him.”

Mark walked with her to the church door.  Putting his arms around her, he hugged her tightly.  “God is good, Mari.”

“I know, Mark,” she whispered.  “I know.”  Pulling away from him she sighed.  “We’ll get through this somehow.”

“Take care, Mari.  We’ll be praying for both you and Joe,” Mark told her as he watched her walk to her car.  The slump of her shoulders told him how dejected she was.   He sighed heavily.  He had never felt so inadequate before.

“You did what you could,” Jennifer’s voice came from behind him. 

Mark turned to see his wife leaning up against the wall.  “What if it wasn’t enough?”

“Joe is in God’s hands, Mark, not yours, not even Mari’s.”  She walked up to him and took his hand.  “We’ll pray for him, but he has to find his own way in this.”

Taking her in his arms, he leaned his head down on hers.  “How did you get to be so wise?”

“You know I’m the Proverbs thirty-one woman, don’t you?”

He laughed.  “You are that.”  Taking her hand he led her back to his office where they spent the next hour in prayer.

           

            The rest of the week passed with no word from Joe.  Mari was worried and on Thursday afternoon finally tried to reach him at the office.  His secretary informed her that he was in a meeting.  Later in the day she tried his cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail.  The same thing happened Friday.  Not sure of what she should do, Mari finally left a message for him to call her.  She kept her cell phone on her at all times, but he never returned her call.  Saturday passed with still no contact.  Finally, on Sunday morning as Mari was sitting in the kitchen eating toast, Joe walked in from the garage.

He was rumpled, as if he had slept in his clothes, and looked so tired, Mari ached for him.  There were dark circles under his blue eyes, which were devoid of expression.  “Another temporary opening has come up in Houston. I’ve decided to take it.”  His voice was flat, emotionless. 

It was so quiet the hum of the refrigerator seemed loud in the silence.  Mari dipped her head, not immediately responding.  Words were just not coming.  She was not quite sure what to say.  When the original opening in Houston had been posted, Joe had declined.  But he and Mari discussed it and decided that Joe should go.  Most of the other people in his office had families which would make it difficult to be away for an extended period.  Because Joe and Mari did not have children, the two of them felt it would easier for them.  Mari would be able to travel down to see him, pretty much whenever she wished.  But they also decided it was a one time thing and if it came up again he would not go. 

Obviously things were different now with their estrangement and the baby on the way.  Rising from her chair, the swell of her stomach nudged the counter.  A protective hand rested on the swell as she walked to the sink and turned on the water.  “When are you leaving?” she inquired, keeping her voice even with effort and busying her hands by rinsing off the dishes stacked in the sink and putting them in the dishwasher. 

“Tonight.”  The word dropped like a stone between them.

Her breath caught.  “How long will you be gone?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know.  Six months, maybe longer.”

Biting her lips against the ache those words caused, Mari took a calming breath.  The baby was due in three months.  She would be going through the birth of their child alone.  She had hoped Joe would come to his senses and realize she was telling the truth, but now it was obvious he did not want to be anywhere near her.  Anger nudged the borders of her consciousness.  “I hope you have a good trip.”  She dried her hands on the dishtowel and brushed past him to go out the door. 

Grabbing her arm as she moved by, Joe ground out, “Is that all you have to say?”

Mari turned on him, yanking her arm out of his grip.  Hazel eyes blazed.  “What do you want me to say, Joe?”  She put a hand on her rounded stomach.  “This baby is not going to go away.  Whether you believe it or not, this is your baby.  If you want to deny that and leave, fine, go ahead.”

He rounded on her in anger.  “I don’t know what to believe, Mari!  You tell me the baby is mine, but how am I supposed to accept that?  You know as well as I do that I’m sterile.  I can’t have children!” his voice rose and his eyes glittered.  “And it’s killing me to know that you may have given yourself to someone else.  You’re mine!” With those words he jerked her back into his arms.  His lips came down on hers in a punishing kiss.  He wanted to hurt her for all the pain she was causing him, but his love for her was so strong.  In a matter of moments, the hard arms softened and the kiss turned from demanding to desperate.  He knew he would surrender to his desire for her if it lasted any longer.  Pushing her away from him, he glared down at her.  Her face was pale, her lips swollen with his kiss, and he wanted more than anything to take away the pain in her eyes but his own pain was still too raw.

“I have to go.”

Joe’s voice grated against Mari’s ears.  Despite the agony she felt, she wanted nothing more than to keep on kissing him.  She missed him so much, missed the warmth and comfort of his arms around her.  But he was so angry, so confused, there was nothing she could do to stop him leaving.  Watching as he stomped up the stairs, she let out a strangled sob.  Everything was such a mess.  She slowly followed him up the stairs, remembering the advice Pastor Mark had given her.  Be there for him.  Let him see your love for him has not changed.  Love him unconditionally.  She had been trying to do those things for the past few weeks but Joe remained unconvinced.  Until this past week he had been physically present at the house, but was emotionally distant.  He spent a great deal of time at the office, using work as an excuse to stay away from home and church. 

Watching as he tossed clothes into a suitcase, Mari could not help but notice how tired and dejected he appeared.  His shoulders were stooped as if it were too difficult to stand up under the pressure of his troubles.  When not filled with anger his eyes were dull and sad.  He had lost weight in the past couple months.  He had always been slim and well toned, but now he almost appeared gaunt.

Although she was exasperated by his handling of this whole situation, she was also very worried.  Joe showed the world a tough exterior, but she knew he was an extremely sensitive person, easily hurt, and he felt she had hurt him.  She could not stop him from leaving, but she would not let him leave without letting him know how much she loved him.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Joe,” Mari said as she watched him from the doorway.  “Miracles happen.  No matter what you believe I would never cheat on you.”

Joe did not turn around.  “I don’t know what to believe Mari.  I’m angry and that’s wrong, I know, but I can’t help it right now.  Yes, I know miracles happen, but not to me.”  His voice was weary.  He finally turned to her to look her full in the face.  “I need to leave, Mari.  I need this time to come to grips with everything that’s happening and to decide what to do about it.”

The look on his face sent a shiver of disquiet through her.  “What do you mean ‘what to do about it’?”

“I think I want a divorce, Mari,” the words were soft.

“A divorce?” she whispered.  She was stunned. 

“I won’t make any type of decision right away.  But I also can’t stay here feeling the way I do.  I want time to think.  I want to get away from the pain I feel.”

Mari staggered over to the chair and sank into it.  Her world was coming to an end.  That was the only way to describe these feelings bursting through her.  She glanced over at Joe who was watching her cautiously, probably thinking she was going to throw herself at him, or maybe out the window.  Pulling herself together, she spoke carefully, keeping her tone even with great effort.  “I don’t want you to leave, but if that’s what you need to do, okay.  Just remember that in all the years we have known each other I have never lied to you.  And I will always, always love you.”  She rose and walked over to him.  Taking his face tenderly between her hands Mari leaned up into him and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.  Her belly touched his body and she could feel the baby move against the pressure.  “When you’re ready to come home, I’ll be here.”  With those final words she walked out of the room. 

From his position in the bedroom Joe heard the kitchen door close and Mari’s car start.  He slipped over to the window and watched as the red SUV pulled out of the driveway.  Mari was such a strong woman, always fighting for what she believed in.  He had not expected her to give in so easily.  In a way it disheartened him.  She had not fought him at all.

An Unexpected Miracle--Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

The picture of Mari in her wedding dress was prominently placed on Joe’s desk, making it very hard to miss.  It taunted him every time his eyes fell on it.  She had been so incredibly beautiful that day, so alive and radiant, so happy.  Memories of that day crowded his mind, as clear as if it had taken place yesterday, not ten years ago.  He could remember how damp his palms had been as he watched her almost float down the aisle.  When he accepted the small, soft hand from her uncle Andrew, he felt as if he were receiving a most precious gift.  There could be no luckier man on the planet to have someone so wonderful love him.  That was one of the reasons he had kept his family history hidden.  Mari had come from a loving family, with much love shared between them.  The thought of Mari thinking less of him, of ending their relationship, because of his dysfunctional family kept him silent during their courtship and after their marriage. 

As the years passed, it became harder and harder to tell her.  Mari had seemed content with their family of two.  He did not want to upset the balance by bringing up what he considered the distant past.  Always in the back of his mind was the thought of what could happen.  What if Mari decided to follow in his mother’s footsteps?  What if she became so discontented with the fact that he could not give her children that she turned to another man?

Isn’t that what happened? a voice in his head insisted.  She’s having someone else’s baby.  Joe’s hands fisted, and his jaw clenched.  He did not understand why Mari had turned away from him.  Unlike his mother, Mari had seemed happy in their relationship. 
Even up to the time he had left for Houston in April, their relationship had been a loving one.  There had not been much conflict in their marriage, which for Joe was a good thing, considering how much he hated confrontation of any kind.  The only issue in their marriage that had not really been resolved was the matter of adoption.  Joe had stubbornly refused to budge on his stance of no adoption.  It was one of the only things Mari had not pushed him on and now he wondered why.  Had she let the adoption issue drop because she was making her own plans?  Pastor Nolan made a good point.  Mari was thirty-four this year.  Why wait so long?

Joe swiveled his chair around to look out his office window.  Another beautiful fall day, one that he normally would have been spending with his wife.  This separation was almost killing him.  He missed her so much, missed touching her, talking to her, just being in the same room with her.  Spending time with her at the wedding last night had left him with an ache in his heart and a desire to make an effort to return to his relationship with his wife. 

Until that phone call this morning Joe had felt almost optimistic about their future together, had begun to feel like he could make himself believe her claim that the baby was his.  Hearing that male voice on the end of the line brought back all the occasions when he had answered the phone as a youngster and an unknown man asked for his mother.  Being a kid, he never thought much about it at the time, but the whole situation had blown up in his face later.  Joe often wondered if mentioning the phone calls to his mother would have made a difference in how everything had turned out.

No answer to that one, Joe thought as he pushed himself up from the chair.  His long legs ate up the carpet as he paced the room.  He played the phone call over in his head.  So brief, so innocuous.  So condemning.  A man had called their home.  That in itself was nothing unusual.  They had a wide range of friends, male and female, who often called.  Both of them received work related calls at home.  It was possible the call was completely innocent.  The fact the voice had been unfamiliar bothered him immensely.  His agitation grew the more he thought about it until he could no longer stand it. Grabbing his coat and briefcase, he strode purposefully out of the office.  For once he would not back down from confrontation.  He would confront his wife now, make her understand just how much her betrayal cut.

He practiced what he planned to say on the twenty minute drive home.  He only hoped Mari would be there.  Courage in confrontation was never his strong suit.  As he turned onto his street Joe saw a man exiting his house, Mari following, smiling at him.  She handed him something as he walked down the porch steps.  Mari turned back into the house as the young man got into a car parked on the street and drove away.  Joe pulled into the drive, tires nearly squealing, then surged out of the car, slamming the door.  He pounded up the front steps and into the house.  Throwing open the front door, he stormed into the kitchen where Mari was sliding onto a stool at the breakfast bar, a mug cradled in her hands.

“You are just like my mother.” 

Joe’s words were hissed in a voice so radically different from anything Mari had ever heard before that she reared back in shock.  His eyes blazed blue fire down at her as he stood above her.  His breathing came in ragged breaths.

“What’s wrong, Joe,” Mari cried, sliding off the stool and backing away from him.  She had never seen him like this before and she was frightened.

“You are just like her,” he repeated in a voice laced with pain and anger.  “Why am I not good enough for you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“My mother decided she wanted another child and when my father couldn’t produce she went out and found someone who could.  Is that what you did?  Decide that since I couldn’t give you what you wanted you’d just go out and get it for yourself?”

Gripping fear gave way to anger and this time Mari did nothing to stop the rising storm.  Feet spread, body rigid, she faced her irate husband.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.  You told me your parents died ages ago and that you were an only child.  And you accuse me of lying.” She snorted.  “That’s rich, Joe.”

“Yeah, I lied,” he shouted.  “My parents divorced when I was ten.  My mother was pregnant with another man’s child.  She wanted another child so much she gave up everything to get it and ended up losing it all.  My dad left.  It was her fault.  So I quit talking to her and when I hit eighteen I left.  I left her to her drink and misery and made a life for myself.  I never spoke to her again.  She died several years ago of cancer.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?  I’m your wife, Joe.  We’re supposed to share the good and the bad, past and present.”

“Would you have married me knowing what a screwed up family I came from?”

“Of course I would have married you!  I did marry you.  I married you despite the fact that you struggle with words.  I married you even though you don’t always tell me what the problem is.  I married you knowing I would never have the children I dreamed of having.”

“How noble of you!” he bit out.  “You married me knowing I couldn’t give you kids.  So, being the intelligent woman you are, you went out and solved that little problem by yourself.”

Mari bit her lip, holding back a scream of pure frustration.  “No,” she said biting out each word.  “You solved that problem.  You, Joe.  Your sperm, my egg, our baby.”

Joe’s body went rigid at her words and his eyes sparked with anger.  “That cannot be my baby,” he spat.  “I cannot have children.”  He faced her fully and looked down at her with contempt.  “You are just like my mother.”  He turned stiffly and walked out of the kitchen.

Mari could hear him stalking up the stairs then the guest bedroom door slam.  She sank to the floor, her whole body shaking.  Tears dripped down her cheeks.  This whole situation was so much worse than she could ever have imagined.  Not only did she have to fight through Joe’s unbelief about being about to father children, she had to fight his past as well.  And she just did not know if she was up to the challenge.

A long time later Mari dragged herself up from the floor and went upstairs.  She eyed the guest room door with sadness.  Joe was locked in there, locked with the ghosts of his past and his anger at the present.  Too tired to even think about talking to him now, Mari slipped into the master bedroom and sank down on the bed.  Why had he not told her about his parents while they were dating, she wondered.  A shaft of pain pierced her heart at the thought of what he had gone through as a child. 

“Help him, Lord,” she prayed quietly.  “He hurts so much.”

She wondered what had pushed Joe to finally tell her about his parents.  What had set him off?  Certainly nothing she had said.  They had not really spoken since last night, since she did not count Joe’s strange behavior this morning to be actual speaking.  The only other possibility was Greg’s nephew being at the house, but that did not make any sense.  Joe had met Barry last summer at a barbeque at Greg and Marla’s.  Could it be possible Joe did not remember him and thought Barry was her lover?  That was ridiculous.  He was nineteen years old, for goodness sake.

Shaking her head, Mari gave up.  She was physically and emotionally drained.  There was no way she would be able to make any sense of today’s outburst without some rest.  Lying down, she pulled up the comforter and fell in a deep, but troubled sleep.

An Unexpected Miracle--Chapter 12.2

            By the time Joe and Mari met back up, he was seething with impatience and it was well past midnight.  Joe could tell Mari was fading fast and hustled her out the door before anyone else could stop them.  It was quiet on the ride home, not quite comfortable but different from the usual tension filled silence.  He pulled up in the drive and got out of the car.  He helped her out, holding her tightly when she stumbled. After they entered the house he gently turned her to face him before letting go.

“We need to talk, Mari,” he stated softly.  She regarded him, her hazel eyes made dark by exhaustion.  He reached over to brush an escaped piece of hair behind her ear.  “I know you’re tired, so we’ll wait until tomorrow, but there’s so much I want to talk about.”

Mari smiled tenderly.  To his surprise she reached up and kissed his cheek.  “We’ll talk tomorrow, Joe,” she promised and turned and walked up the stairs.

When she was out of sight Joe walked into the living room and sank into a chair.  He leaned his head back and stared up at the dark ceiling. The pressure he felt to resolve his marriage problems weighed on his heart.  Since his last conversation with Pastor Mark, Joe had spent a great deal of time by himself, musing on his parents’ marriage and the mistakes they had made.  He wanted to believe Mark’s theory that they had not worked at saving their marriage.  The thought brought feeling of anger then a stab of guilt.  He had done nothing to improve his own marriage, what right did he have to blame his mother or father for failing to save their broken marriage?  It was time to tell Mari the truth, to confess to her about his childhood, his parents, their divorce, his fear that what was happening now was a replay of all those events.

His heart ached with longing to be with his wife, for the way things used to be, before he found out about Mari’s pregnancy.  But he knew there was no going back.  If he wanted to save this marriage he would have to move past the hurt and chose to love despite the circumstances.  

“Can this child really be mine, Lord?” he whispered out loud.  “Will I really be a father?”  Joe’s eyes closed and he fell asleep in the chair.

A ringing phone startled Joe out of a sound sleep.  His hand reached for the extension on the end table.  He glanced at his watch as he hit talk.  Seven-thirty in the morning, he saw, biting back a groan.  “Conley residence,” he rasped out in a voice thick with sleep.

“Could I speak to Marilee, please,” a male voice asked.

“She isn’t available right now,” Joe ground out, wide awake now.  “Can I take a message?”

“Ah, no message.”  There was a click and the call was disconnected. Joe fought for control.  There was a man, he raged inside.  She was seeing someone else.  About to spring from his chair, he noticed Mari coming down the stairs. 

“Hey, Joe,” she said softly, sleep still filling her voice.  “Did I hear the phone ring?”

“Yes,” he said flatly.

Mari gave Joe a strange look.  “Is there something wrong?”

“You mean besides the obvious?” he snarled, staring at her bulging belly underneath her robe.

“Joe what is wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me!” Joe shouted, stomping into the kitchen.  He began throwing together the makings for coffee, ignoring his wife who had come in behind him.

Mari stared at him for a moment.  “You said you wanted to talk last night.  Is now not a good time?”

Joe whirled around.  “Why wouldn’t it be a good time?”

“For Pete’s sake, Joe!” Mari cried, now fully awake.  “What is the deal?”

“Deal?  I’ll tell you what the deal is, Mari.  My wife, who vowed to honor and cherish, is pregnant.”  He reached for her, grabbing her arms in a tight grip.  “I can’t have children Mari!” he shouted, shaking her slightly.  Mari’s eyes grew round and when Joe saw the fear in them he dropped his hands, disgusted at himself.  “Sorry,” he muttered, turning back to the coffee maker.

Mari rubbed her arms where he had held her.  Joe had never grabbed her in such a manner before and Mari was worried, both for her and for him.  He was reaching a breaking point and she had no idea what to do.  Last night she had felt such hope.  Joe had seemed almost excited when he told her there were things they needed to talk about.  What had happened to change how he was this morning? 

She walked over to him and hesitantly touched his shoulder.  He stiffened but didn’t turn around.  “I know this is hard, Joe,” she said softly.  “I know this is stretching your faith.  It’s stretching mine, too.  But I love you.  I have loved you since I first saw you and I would not do anything to risk losing you.  But we can’t change this and it’s not just going to go away.  The baby is inside me and growing every day.”  She stepped back, letting her hand fall.  “God gave us a miracle, Joe.”

Joe turned to face her, his face haggard.  “I want to believe you Mari, I do.  But it’s so hard.  I see that child growing in your belly and I’m filled with rage that you would let another man touch you.  It frightens me, the anger I feel.  I’m not sure I can control it.”

His words frightened Mari, but also filled her will a deep sense of sadness.  “Have you talked to anyone about it?”

“No one who can explain to me why my wife is carrying someone else’s child.”

“This isn’t just about the baby, Joe.  You know it isn’t.  It’s about faith and hope and trust.  Why can’t you just believe?”

Joe’s blue eyes hardened.  “You make it sound so easy, Mari.  Like you’re some perfect little Christian.  Maybe some of us aren’t as perfect as you.”

“You can turn this back on me as much as you want, Joseph Conley, but I’m not the one throwing away ten years of marriage because I don’t believe in miracles.”

“Maybe I am throwing everything away.  But I wonder how you would take it if you found out I had an affair.  Easy enough considering all the time I’ve had to be away lately.”  He watched as Mari’s eyes narrowed.  “Makes you wonder doesn’t it?” he questioned as he turned and walked away.

Mari followed him out of the kitchen and grabbed his arm.  He looked at her over his shoulder.  “You’re telling me you had an affair?”

“I’m not telling you anything.”  He shook off her hand and went up the stairs.  “I am going to work.”

Mari stood at the bottom of the stairs, shock and anger warring within her.  She was fairly positive Joe had not had an affair, but there was still a shadow of doubt.  The last year or so he had been out of town a lot with work, so truthfully, the opportunity was there.  But I trust him, Mari told herself, looking up to where he had been a few moments earlier.  I do trust him, she affirmed.  She turned around and went back into the kitchen, knowing she needed to eat before any queasiness set in.

She was seated at the breakfast bar dejectedly munching a piece of toast when Joe came back into the kitchen.  “I’ll be late,” he said.  “Don’t wait up.”  He tossed an apple and banana into his briefcase.  “I didn’t have an affair, Mari.”

“I know,” she responded, looking up at him.  “I didn’t either.”

Joe didn’t say anything, the earlier phone call mocking him.  A moment later he was gone.

Mari threw her spoon into the sink, giving vent to her anger and frustration.  Why would the man not listen to her, she cried silently.  Tears streaked down her cheeks and she angrily wiped them away.  She had spent the last weeks doing her best to understand what was happening between her and Joe.  She was giving him as much slack as she could, but the toll it was taking on her was great.  The pressure of trying to keep their marriage together was causing her head and body to ache beyond what she thought was healthy.  She has been feeling cramps in her back and legs the last couple days, and just now her stomach was beginning to knot uncomfortably. 

Marla was going to have kittens at Mari’s next doctor’s appointment.  Right now, her first priority was to calm down and relax her body, which was going to be easier said then done.  She was not going to make Sunday school this morning, so Mari decided a warm shower was in order before church.  She let the soothing water flow over her head as she leaned up against the tiled wall of the shower stall.  Joe had been angrier than usual this morning.  What could have set him off? she wondered.  Last night Joe seemed almost as if he wanted to save their marriage, then this morning he was off the charts furious.  He had been angry even before she had come downstairs, so it was not anything she said or did, as far as she could tell.  Mari wondered if the phone call had anything to do with it.  Joe never did tell her who had called.  She wondered if it had been Greg’s nephew, who was home from college for the weekend.  He was supposed to call her this morning to let her know when he could come by and mow the lawn for her.  With the cooler weather it had not needed to be cut in a couple of weeks but Mari wanted it done one more time before the end of the season.  She was too exhausted to do it herself and Joe showed no inclination to be home during daylight hours.  When Greg mentioned his nephew would be home this weekend, she asked him to come by to do it.  She would have to call him after church to set up a time.

Mari dressed hurriedly and rushed out the door.  She was running late as it was and did not want to walk into the service any later than was necessary.  When she pulled into the parking lot, she let out a deep breath.  She needed to calm herself before she went in.  Exiting her car, she breathed in the crisp fall air.  It was a beautiful fall day.  The sun shone bright.  Multi-colored leaves rustled in the trees.  Mari leaned up against her car and gazed into the sky.  It was so blue, reminding her of Joe’s eyes.  His eyes were one of the first things that had attracted her to him.  They were so amazing.  When their gazes locked that first time across the student commons Mari had not been able to look away.  A well-placed elbow in the ribs by her roommate was the only thing that got her attention enough for her to drag her eyes away.  By the time she had looked back the person belonging to those incredible eyes was already gone.

A smile flitted briefly across her features as she remembered the time she had had chasing down the blue-eyed boy, the name given to him by her roommate.  In the end, the boy had found her and so began a wonderful courtship.  Mari sighed as she recalled their first date, their first kiss.  Things had been so uncomplicated back then. She had always thought she and Joe were both uncomplicated people.  She never would have guessed that their lives would be turned so upside down.

Mari shook her head before heading into the church.  This is your life now, she reminded herself.  Get on with it. 

An Unexpected Miracle--Chapter 11.1

Chapter Twelve

            He was drifting farther and farther away from her and she did not know how to stop it.  Weeks had passed without any resolution to their marital problems.  Mari knew Joe was struggling with more than just the obvious issue of her pregnancy.  His very faith was being put to the test.

Although Joe had been a fairly new Christian when they met, his faith had grown during their years together.  They had put their trust in God to protect and lead them.  The issue of children had come up, of course, before they were married.  Joe admitted to Mari that he had prayed for a wife who would understand there would never be any children in their future.  When Mari broached the subject of adoption it was the first time she had ever seen him truly angry.  No adoption.  She thought maybe Joe saw adoption as a sign of his failure.  Mari did not necessarily agree with that assessment but after much prayer she decided Joe was the man God planned for her.  If that meant no children, then the Lord would help her deal with that.  Still, she always had hope that God would provide a miracle and after ten years her miracle was here.  But her husband was not.

Mentally shaking herself, she slipped the silver ball earring into the lobe of her ear.  Tonight they were attending the wedding of mutual friends.  It would be the first time they had attended a social function as a couple since Joe had left to go to Houston in April.  Jordon Malone and his bride Melinda were part of Joe and Mari’s circle of friends although in the last year or so they had not been able to meet them much socially.  After putting in the other earring, Mari gathered up her purse.  Joe did not want to go to the wedding but Mari was not about to attend the wedding of good friends alone, forced to make up excuses for her husband’s absence.  There was only so much she was willing to do to keep the peace.  He was just going to have to suck it up this time.

Joe was already waiting in the car when Mari came down.  She grimaced.  She was so tired of the tension.  It was making her edgy and irritable trying to make things comfortable for Joe.  Do not look only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  I’ll try Lord, Mari promised as she slid awkwardly into the passenger seat. 

Joe said nothing as Mari entered the car.  He averted his eyes as she got in and started the engine.  The temptation to drop her off at the church and drive away was strong.  He did not want to do this.  There were going to be a great many of their mutual friends at this wedding.  So far he had managed to avoid contact with most people he knew, using work as an excuse.  His closest friends knew why, although they did not call him on his behavior.

“I’d prefer to sit at the back, if it’s okay with you,” the words were whispered into her ear as they entered the church causing a shiver of awareness down Mari’s spine.

“Sure.  That’s fine,” she answered, slightly breathless.  Considering the amount of work it had taken just to get him here, Mari was not about to quibble over seating arrangements.  They settled into a pew at the back of the sanctuary and waited for the ceremony to begin.  Much to Joe’s dismay several other guests crowded into the pew next to them and began talking to Mari.  He heard one woman ask when Mari was due, but he did not hear her response.  He wondered that himself.  When was she due?  When would this child make an appearance?

Once the ceremony was underway, Joe glanced over at his wife.  She was watching the bride and groom, a wistful smile on her face.  He remembered that she had been instrumental in getting Jordan and Melinda together in the first place.  After one blind date set up by Melinda’s good friend Marilee, Jordan and Melinda had been hooked on each other.  Mari had grinned like a fool for a week after that, much to Joe’s chagrin.  He had insisted Jordan would not like Melinda, much less go out with her a second time.  Joe had had to wear Mari’s neon pink baseball cap at softball three Fridays running for that misjudgment.

Jordan and Melinda exchanged vows, their voices strong and confident.  They looked so happy, so excited about the future.  Joe’s heart ached.  He wondered if he would ever feel like that again, so much in love with his bride he wanted to shout it from the rooftops.  The dead weight resting where his heart used to be made that highly unlikely, in his opinion.

The reception was being held at a near-by country club immediately following the ceremony.  The bride and groom wanted to spend more time with their friends and family and less time posing for pictures so there was a rush to get to the reception which worked in Joe’s favor.  It would shorten the time Joe had to be alone with Mari.  The car ride was short and they were promptly seated at a table full of people.  It was a struggle keeping a look of enjoyment on his face while they were eating dinner, but he managed to fool everyone except his wife.

            When dinner was finally over, Joe made a hasty excuse and excused himself from the table.  He killed as much time as he felt he could in the men’s room, then took up a post at the back of the hall near the exit.  Joe leaned back against a pillar, his eyes tracking his wife’s movements around the room as she stopped to speak to other guests.  He had made a concerted effort to ignore her before this point, spending his time eating or conversing with those around him.  Now, as he stood in the background, his eyes were unwillingly drawn to her.  Mari was so beautiful he had trouble catching his breath.  Her face radiated an inner glow despite how pale she was.  Her pregnancy could not be hidden now, the royal blue dress she wore draping gracefully over the roundness of her belly.  Several people had voiced their congratulations, which he accepted with a forced smile, hiding his hurt and betrayal.  He knew for his sake Mari was downplaying her condition.  She was doing everything she could to smooth over the situation.  For that he was thankful.

He brought the punch cup up to his lips, sipping absently.  This wedding was the first social function they had attended together in the weeks since Mari had broken the news of her pregnancy to him.  He would have tried to get out of it but Jordan was a good friend and Mari had put her foot down, announcing that they would attend his wedding together.  His reluctant acceptance had earned him a roll of hazel eyes and an exasperated sigh.

“What’s up good looking?” the sultry voice came from behind him as red-tipped fingers slid up his arm. 

Joe stifled a groan.  The last thing he wanted was to get trapped in conversation with Sydney Warren, female barracuda.  The woman had been after him since he joined the firm, despite his married state.  “Hello, Sydney,” Joe said, stepping away from the woman’s hand.

Sydney gave a husky laugh at his attempt to move to a safe distance.  She crowded closer to him.  She had been watching Joe and his wife all evening and could tell there was something not quite right between them.  This might just be her chance to gain Joe’s attention.  Not one to miss an opportunity, Sydney stealthily made her way over to Joe, coming up from behind him so he could not avoid her as he normally did in social situations.  She glanced around the room looking for Mari, spotting her talking with the bride and groom.  With any luck Mari would see Joe and her together, driving an even bigger wedge into the couple’s relationship.  Sydney would be ready and waiting when Joe and Mari split.

“So, what’s a handsome man like you doing alone at such a romantic event?”  Sydney lifted her baby blue eyes up to his face.  She considered her eyes one of her best features and if the men in her life could be believed those baby blues were hard to resist.

“I’m not alone,” Joe contradicted, his hand tightly gripping his punch glass.  He nodded his head in Mari’s direction.  “Marilee is right over there talking to Jordan and Melinda.”

“Well, allow me to keep you company until she decides to come back to you.”

A pain pierced Joe’s heart at Sydney’s choice of words.  There was no way she could know Joe had his doubts about his wife’s fidelity.  But obviously he was not hiding the fact there was something wrong very well, although when it came to men’s marital problems Sydney seemed to have very well honed radar.  She showed up at social events regularly with newly divorced men.  Despite her reputation, he did not have it in him to just rudely dismiss her.  “So how’s the new job going?” he asked.  Sydney recently had left the company Joe and Jordan worked for to join a large advertising firm in downtown Detroit.  He was hoping the question would take her mind off seducing him.  The redirection worked and Sydney began describing her new job with enthusiasm, her hands fluttering around her body in a manner meant to draw his attention.

While he was trying to avoid Sydney’s tentacles, Joe felt a light touch on his shoulder.  Mari’s hand slid down his arm and came to a stop on his forearm.  He felt a gentle pressure as she gently squeezed.

“Good evening, Sydney,” Mari greeted the blonde woman.  She kept her voice even with great effort.  They might have hit a rough patch, but Joe was still her husband and Mari was not about to let Sydney Warren forget it.  Joe belonged to Mari and she was not going to share.  Inwardly shaking her head at this unexpected bout of jealousy, Mari flashed Joe a conspiratorial smile.  The poor man seemed ready to bolt.

Not sure what was worse, the company of the blonde octopus or that of his unfaithful wife, Joe stood absolutely still.  Sydney might be annoying but Mari’s touch was far more dangerous to his piece of mind.  This was the first time he had allowed his wife to touch him for any length of time in almost eight weeks.  He had not realized how much he missed it.  Her hand was light and gentle on his arm.  Her scent surrounded him, a subtle blend of vanilla and spice that reminded him too much of more intimate moments.  He wanted to ignore the comfort her nearness gave him but it just was not possible. His body reacted before he could stop it.  He missed her so much.  His hand rose of its own volition to cover her smaller one as it rested on his arm.  He felt a small tremor run through her and tightened his grip slightly.  Their gazes locked and everything else seemed to fade into the background.

The hurt Joe felt at the circumstances was still there, but for the first time a glimmer of hope pierced the wall he had erected around his heart.  She’s never lied before, it whispered, even when she knew it would make you angry.  Not when she gave your favorite sport coat away, not when she lost your car keys at the baseball game and they had had to call a locksmith, not even when she deleted all your financial files on the computer.

The moment was broken when Sydney bumped into Joe.  “Sorry,” she said before she moved off in a huff.

“We need to talk, Mari,” Joe stated abruptly, taking her hand and moving swiftly towards the door.

Before they reached it, however, they were stopped by another couple. Maintaining his politeness with difficulty, Joe began to offer excuses, but before more than a few words could be uttered, they were joined by two more couples.  Mari’s eyes met his, her own reflecting both wry amusement and annoyance over their predicament.  She leaned over and whispered “later”, before she was swept away by some of the women to discuss an upcoming church event.