Chapter Ten
“Joe, Mari, take a seat,” Pastor Mark greeted his guests with a wide, sweeping gesture towards the couch in the den. A cryptic phone call from Mark earlier in the day had instigated this meeting. When Mari, who had taken the call, had explained that Mark wanted to see them, Joe had been reluctant, but in the end had not been able to come up with a plausible excuse to avoid the meeting. Mari, frustrated with the lack of communication between them, was at least resigned to the fact that an arbitrator would have to step into help them get past their marital problems.
Entering the den, Mari cast a somewhat nervous glance towards Jennifer before sinking onto the edge of the sofa. Joe ignored the Pastor’s gesture to be seated completely, choosing to remain standing. He took up a stance near the fireplace, leaning up against the brick wall. Mari resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his behavior.
Mark took a seat on the chair facing the sofa, while Jennifer settled on the other end of the couch nearest to Joe. The silence in the room stretched. Mark’s gaze swung between Mari and Joe before he broke the uncomfortable silence. “I asked you both to come this afternoon since I didn’t believe you would come to me if I didn’t push for it.” He cast a reproachful look towards Joe, who refused to meet his gaze.
Mark, who from his position could see both Joe and Mari, sighed in frustration. “I have never before interfered in a marital relationship without being asked. In normal circumstances I would have waited for both parties to be willing to participate in counseling. But this situation is not normal and demands drastic measures. You two have known each other since college and have been married ten years. I believe I’ve come to know you, Joe, in those years. Mari,” he said, looking directly at her, “I’ve known you since you were two. And I have to say, two more stubborn people I have yet to meet.” Frustration was evident in his voice.
Mari and Joe both opened their mouths to protest, but Mark Nolan’s raised hand forestalled them.
“The situation you’re facing is serious, there is no doubt about that. But from what you’ve told me, Joe, and from what Jennifer tells me about Mari, you two are not even trying to work it out. In fact, I would hazard a guess you don’t even talk about it. That puzzles me, because I did not think communication was a huge issue with you.” Mari would have objected but Jennifer threw her a stern look. “Although I would not do this under normal circumstances I’m going to go ahead and try to force some kind of communication between the two of you. It might not be the right thing to do, but I can’t sit back and watch the two of you hurt each other any more. It’s killing me.” The words were agonized.
Mari’s head popped up at those words and she took a long look at the man who had stood in place of a father these past years. He did indeed look more gaunt and pale then she had ever seen him before. The guilt of her selfishness weighed heavily on her shoulders. Mark and Jennifer were like parents to her and she had been so wrapped up in her own pain and problems that she had completely ignored the impact her behavior was having on them. Tears filled her eyes. Could this situation get any more tragic?
She rose and went over to him. Leaning down she hugged his neck as she had done so many times before. “I’m so sorry, Mark,” the words were whispered with an aching heart. She straightened and turned to face Joe, who’s face bore a resemblance to a deer caught in the headlights of a car with no where to go. She ignored the implied hesitancy and looking directly at him, said “I’m willing to do this if you are.”
Joe turned and moved to the window. Jaw clenching, he closed his eyes. He felt trapped. He had shared his full life story with Pastor Mark, but there was no way he could bare his soul to Mari. Not now, maybe not ever. He stood in stiff silence, staring out the window. The others were waiting for his reply, but he was not sure he wanted to give them the answer they wanted. Finally, he turned to face her. His tone was forced as he replied, “I’m willing to work on our marriage.”
Mark huffed with impatience. The tone of his words did not exactly instill confidence that Joe would really try. It was obvious he was still unwilling to share his past with Mari, although Mark did not understand the reasons. Still, he would not betray the confidence Joe had placed in him. The only option was to pray that Joe would trust in his wife’s love enough to finally be open and honest in his communication and tell her everything. It had to come from Joe. “That’s a start, anyway,” Mark commented drily before rising. He took hold of Mari’s hand, communicating silently with his wife who rose and clasped Mari’s other hand. “Let’s pray now, then maybe we can work out a few things.” He glanced over at Joe expectantly, holding out his other hand. Joe reluctantly left his place by the window and joined them, clasping his own hands in front of him in a defensive posture. Mark rested his free hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Father, grant us wisdom in our words and our responses. Give us courage to speak the truth and to accept it without condemnation. May you give peace to this hurting couple, in your Son’s name, amen.”
The couple sat with Mark for another half hour, but Joe never mentioned his past, much to Mark’s regret. In fact, the man barely spoke at all. Joe may have said he was willing to work on his marriage, but his participation was reluctant at best. When they left, Mark went to find his wife, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly. Jen did not say a word, just hugged her husband hard, knowing how much he hurt.
The air was fraught with tension in the Escape as they drove home. When they arrived at the house, Joe immediately went upstairs and closeted himself in the guest room. The looks Pastor Mark had thrown Joe’s way told Mari there was something Joe was hiding, but she could not think of what it might be. Joe had never been a very demonstrative guy but over the years he had opened up more and more. He had always been a wonderful husband. He never left her feeling as if their marriage lacked anything. But during the time they were at the Nolan’s home, Mark kept casting glances Joe’s way, as if waiting for him to say something. By the look of disappointment Mark had tried to hide when the couple left, whatever Mark wanted to Joe to reveal had been left unsaid.
Dropping her purse on the foyer table, Mari walked through the house and out to the backyard. Sitting down at the edge of the pool, she let her feet dangle in the tepid water. It was a warm evening for late September and Mari let out a long sigh. The water felt heavenly on her swollen feet. At her doctor’s appointment yesterday, her blood pressure had been higher than normal. Marla warned her that her stress level was way too high and insisted Mari take it easy and get more rest or she would be put on forced bed rest. Mari thought she might be kidding, but it was hard to tell, and Mari did not want to take the chance. She just was not sure how she was going to have a stress-free life when her emotions were in such an upheaval.
The grant approval had come through last week, so work had slowed down somewhat. Greg was now working on a new project and was spending more time in the lab. Mari wondered if it was to keep an eye on her. At a previous doctor’s visit Marla had hinted that she would use any means necessary to see that Mari slowed down. She had obviously sent her husband in to do her dirty work.
At least the new project gave her something else to think about. Greg might be spying on her but he was very enthusiastic about this new project. He insisted they work out the procedures together so they would both have a handle on the grant proposal when that came. All this while still keeping their former project going. Although the work was not difficult, it was time consuming, enough to keep her mind from focusing solely on the heartache of her troubled marriage.
Lazily swishing her feet around in the water, Mari dropped her head back and looked up at the evening sky. The clouds were varying shades of pink, reflecting the rays of the setting sun. Stars were just becoming visible. A slight breeze blew her long hair around her face. Just sitting here was dispelling some of the tension her body was clinging to and she could feel herself relaxing. Out here she could feel God’s presence more than she had in a long time. She felt comforted and secure in the fact that He loved her.
She looked down and put her hand on her belly, rubbing gently. She felt a slight movement and smiled softly. This was living proof that prayers were answered and miracles still happened. She would accept this gift with the joy it deserved, despite the circumstances. And she would do her best to make sure the baby did not suffer unduly from the tension surrounding its conception.
Joe watched his wife from the second floor window. He could see her rubbing her stomach and his gut clenched. The movement was so simple but affected him so much. He missed his wife. He missed her body and soul and spirit. Until today he had not realized just how much her presence in his life meant to him. Standing near her at Mark’s earlier, the smell of the vanilla body lotion she favored brought back memories of the first time he bought it for her. It had been a congratulatory gift for finishing her master’s courses. She had been so excited that day and when he gave her the gift bag she had thrown her arms around him and kissed him until they were both out of breath. They had not been married yet, and it was all Joe could do to put her from him.
Reflecting on that time made Joe ache. She was such a vibrant woman, his wife, but was she really his? She insisted this baby was his, but the war raging inside him made him doubt everything, including his own judgment. Why would a woman like Mari choose someone like Joe?
He turned away from the window and dropped heavily on the bed. He was not sure how he was going to survive living with her but he was not sure he could live without her either. Since the day he had come home from Houston Houston
The opening and closing of the back door brought Joe out of his musings and he jumped up from the bed. The chances of Mari confronting him right now seemed slim but there was still a possibility that she might want to talk. Grabbing some sweats he rushed out the door and headed towards the guest bathroom. A shower might postpone the inevitable questions Mari had. She was not a slow woman by any means which meant that she had probably caught on to the fact that Pastor Mark was expecting Joe to tell her something.
Mari caught sight of Joe’s back as he rushed into the guest bathroom and smiled bleakly. She would let him have his peace for now. She was just too tired to argue with him tonight. But she was not going to let him throw away their future together, not if she had anything to say about it. Other than a frustrated look at the door as she passed, Mari kept quiet. This was too important to rush in, so she would bide her time and wait for a more appropriate time to speak with Joe.
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